Veruca...I agree that it really just sucks to be living with this disorder. I am completely surprised that I have yet to develop ulcers from the cycle of intense happiness, the blahs, to the severely depressed. Not to mention the constant guilt of the wrongs I have done in the past.
Once you have gone to therapy enough...and with a good therapist, you begin to see things in a different light. You can start to see that you are not innately evil or selfish. You did not ask to be born with a screwed up brain chemistry. It just is. And that we have this one life to try and get the most out of. So if living your best life means that you have to take a few pills each day, then so be it!
You are no different than a person with other chronic illnesses. My grandfather did not like his daily insulin injections. My niece does not like the three shots a week she must get to be able to live with her allergies. And I first I thought I was a waste of a human body because I have to take 4 pills a day for the rest of my life just to be "normal". My healthy grandfather takes 7 medications a day, from blood thinners to vitamins just to be "normal".
So I think it just comes down to your perception. You need to start feeling better about
yourself so you can start to see that you are NOT a waste of a human being, and that you are worth all the hard work required to start enjoying life.Whether your family understands or not...what is more important is that YOU begin to understand.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch