what to do with my sister? who to call?

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mypearl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 6/23/2009 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I will try to make this as short as possible but I truely need advice on where to go from here. My sister has been bipolar for 30 years. Ten of those with a confirmed diagnosis. She has only been able to be successfully medicated for 6 months where as she self medicates otherwise.
 
She has been on every illegal drug possible. It use to be her oxycontin she would melt down and shoot into her muscle than it was meth and now she is on heroin. She does this in her muscle too. She now weighs about 85 pounds.
 
She is a rapid cycler by the way and very abusive.  Over the years her manic has become worse. My family and I have tried on numerous times to help her, only when asked, then we find out there was an alterior motive for it. Basically she is the best manipulator of them all. She's manipulated courts, judges, police, you name it. We have for many years turned our back but she creeps back it because she is so good at manipulation.
 
My family and I have pretty much been distant from her over the last few years until my mother than I get a phone call from her saying her good byes to us and that she loved us. Well we went to see her. We asked if she was suicidal and she said yes. We wanted her to go in, we've been down this road of 911 before and she manipulated to the point they didnt take her.
 
Anyways, she ended up in the ER several days later after taking 20 - 1mg Ativan over 8 hours and it didnt kill her which surprised me. Where did she get it, well from the walk in clinic through a prescription. Not surprising. Bottom line here is I believe this is another manipulate attempt. She was to be in court on Friday to answer to abuse charges and also to find out she would be loosing her daughter for good. She had visitation on every other weekend. One weekend in Jan. she picked her up and they ended up in the car the whole weekend while she was doing heroin.
 
Thank God she's not allowed to be with her now. My problem is Im getting sucked in again. She is extremely bad mentally and I feel she will either end up being dead within the next 6 months from suicide or from the effects of heroin. I am to afraid to be alone with her and my mother is too. Ive been beat way to many times. When she gets manic she gets so extremely angry and when the fist start flying by her, she doesnt stop. I just never know when it will happen because of her rapid cycling.  I have had to distant myself even though I love her. Its tough to love her though. I do know that its not her fault for the mental illness.
 
The last time she assaulted me was it and I have had only a very few occasions when weve been in the same room (never alone of course). Because she is so good at manipulation, the hospital will be letting her out soon. This is due to her voluntarily admitting herself over the weekend for a suiside attempt and the visual and auditory hallucinations. 
 
The court apparance she was suppose to go to is not the first one. She has 3 kids by 3 fathers and all have and had custody. She is going to call again when she starts to withdrawl and becomes suicidal again. Who do I call besides the police or ambulance to get her the help. She is not able to make these kinds of decisions any more. There has got to be something that can be done or someone to call. Im just having a hard time seeing someone whom I know to be loving and caring become an empty shell.


sle 92, fibromyalgia 95, t4 fracture 06, hyperthyroid with nodules 05, pernisious anemia 04,
? lupus vasculitis lungs, osteoporosis, c3-4 t1 herniated disks 00, gerd, depression
APLS, hyperthyroid, thyroiditis, complex thyroid nodules, asthma, stiff heart with 4 valve regurg., hemolytic anemia, supraventricular tachycardia
meds:prednisone, plaquinil, imuran, hydrocodone, flexeril, ibprofen, asa, fosamax, prilosec,

Post Edited (mypearl) : 6/23/2009 8:48:52 PM (GMT-6)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/24/2009 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mypearl,

I'm sorry to hear of your situation and your poor sister's. She's in a very bad place. Unfortunately, the fact is you can't do much for her. All you really can do is call the ambulance or police. Bipolar is a disease which doctors will only treat voluntarily, unless the patient is suicidal or homicidal. Unfortunately, your sister will not make the decision to get treated. Her decision making skills are undoubtedly clouded by her drug addictions. If you could work on getting her into a treatment program for her addictions, then you may be able to help her bipolar in the long run. As long as she's taking drugs, the medications for bipolar would be of little use anyway.

Do not feel guilty for distancing yourself from someone who is liable to beat you. She needs help and there is only so much you can do for her. You need to live your own life and protect yourself and your family as well. If it will make you feel better, I would recommend that you talk to a mental health professional -- like a therapist or a counselor -- about how to proceed with your sister and what your role should be in her life. Then you may have a healthier sense of what you can do and less guilt about what you can't.

Good luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mypearl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 6/24/2009 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you serafena. My sister has been through so many intensive drug treatment programs its not even funny. The police or ambulance wont do anything because she all of a sudden isnt suicidal when they show up. I have distanced myself for over a year from her. It was the phone call that sucked me and my mother into the situation. I agree about talking with someone, Ive done that. In my younger years I even went as far as transferring to another highschool to get away from her. I no longer allow her to be around my family. If it were not for my mother wanting to go see her I would not have gone. I was there for my mother mainly to make sure her mental health did not deteriorate from it. Can anyone tell me what crisis response is and what they actually do?would they intervene in anything like this? I have a feeling that there will be another attempt again by her after she finds out that she has lost complete coustody of her daughter.  last friday she was due in family court and she didnt show. Is it really bad to turn my back on my sister?
sle 92, fibromyalgia 95, t4 fracture 06, hyperthyroid with nodules 05, pernisious anemia 04,
? lupus vasculitis lungs, osteoporosis, c3-4 t1 herniated disks 00, gerd, depression
APLS, hyperthyroid, thyroiditis, complex thyroid nodules, asthma, stiff heart with 4 valve regurg., hemolytic anemia, supraventricular tachycardia
meds:prednisone, plaquinil, imuran, hydrocodone, flexeril, ibprofen, asa, fosamax, prilosec,

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