I don't wanna end up in the hospital!

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Peachlove
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 6/24/2009 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Its been about 2 days now. I am in a mixed state. 1 min I think I'm ok. Then its either irritation or agitation. I had a bad nightmare not last night but the night before that. I just went to sleep and woke fast because I thought there were fire ants all over my hands and in my bed. Well needless to say there wasn't anything there. I sat up and my husband tried to get me to lay down and I would not have it. I was crying hysterically and that is the way I have felt for a good 2 days now. My husband likes to go fishing and he said to me today "I think its really crappy you don't wanna go anywhere." I said I was sorry. I have an appt for Food Stamps tomorrow so I have to take a shower. Its the small things I and large ALL of them I at least did a load of dishes. But still I have klonopin but it just takes some of the edge off. I feel like I am going to end up in the hospital for 72 hours and I can't have that. My husband needs to work. He still has not found a job because no one is hiring. If I go into the hospital he is the only care taker of our 4 year old. My mother is miles away and does really understand any part of this. My dad.....finally found out where I get the bipolar but he says I need only God in my life and I have to control everything my self. I am not sure how I am suppose to control the chemicals in my brain my self. As I told my husband the other night if I could just part from my brain for a day maybe we could come to some agreement. I see a (I don't wanna say mine) because I have only seen her 1 time, but I see her tomorrow at 5pm as well. So either way I have to move about and clean my self up to some degree. But I just wanna cry cry cry.
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BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 6/25/2009 7:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Peachlove,
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds like you really need to see your pdoc so I'm glad you have the appointment today. Are you able to talk to your mom about how you feel? There are some great websites out there (see the resources section of this board) that can help you talk to your mom - explain what you go through. That way she can understand what you are going through a little better and perhaps can help you with your daughter.

Try to take that shower - I usually feel great after one - and focus on getting yourself to those appointments.

You can get there! And remember, we are here to help you too!

Good luck!

BPWife

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/25/2009 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   
I too am not hanging in well.  My MD put me on an anti depressant (10 mg Celexa, not even theraputic dose) and I am so manic I do not want anyone to get within 5 miles of me or speak to me.  I have an appt with new PDoc on July 15th, my old one retired in December and I thought I could manage without that specalized care, but guess what, I was wrong!  I feel like I am dying inside, I hurt all over my anxiety is out the roof.  when I called MD last week, she said just ride it out.  I have been on this med since May 4th.  In my mind, if it has not worked as it should by now, I am on the wrong med.
 
Trying to have a good day, regardless,
Gem

Peachlove
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 6/25/2009 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all your input! I am going today @ 5 so I will see if I can get in a little sooner. Its strange how some don't realize that you can physically hurt all over when you have anxiety and panic attacks. I have had this agonizing pain in my left side but I know its just the anxiety. I also have eczema. When I get really anxious...it starts to show up on my left hand and both arms. Sometimes my legs. Its horrible, because I get comments about wearing jackets and pants in the summer. My therapist called....I hope she isn't rescheduling! I am awaiting her call back because she left a voice mail. I will post later for an update.
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