Lindz... for one you need to give the meds more time. It took a good two months for me to feel anything beneficial from my mood stabilizer and antidepressant. It was a hard 2 months too. It is hard to wait that long for things to start turning around, without wanting to give up.
I too have people around me who do not understand the extent that bipolar can be debilitating. Most people who are not bipolar, and do not take the time to learn about
it do not understand that stress and change for us is completely different than for a "normal" person. You need to be given the ability for an "out". Your husband needs to drop all of his expectations of what he thinks will make you better, because it is just not that way. For many people with bipolar, a job is just too much to handle. And even school. I just finally got my A.S. in Biology...and I graduated high school in 1990! I can not tell you how horrible my transcript
s look with all of the dropped/repeated/failed classes.
What would be beneficial for you would be to find a good therapist that will help you while helping your husband understand exactly what you are going through. He doesn't understand that a job and school is not what you need right now. You are not even regulated on your meds and are also having a rough time right now. What you need is some down time. You can not do anything about
other family members not understanding. But with your husband you should be able to tell him that he needs to learn more about
bipolar so his understanding will in the long run help you. He will learn how to tell when you need a break, you should not have to always ask for it.
Bipolar is a hard thing to live with and also hard for spouses to live with. But do tell your husband, if you are to ever share any of these posts with him...to not get too riled up. What you are venting right now is coming from a place of desperation/depression/mania. Your meds may not be correct. You are probably irritable and argumentative right now. He needs to go to therapy with you to learn that these are the signs to look for to know when you are in trouble. Even normal people get argumentative and depressed when under a lot of stress...you are experiencing double or triple that. And at the same time you are expected to be the good wife and mother.
So give yourself a break. Check your household and see if any cut backs can be made to free up some extra money for babysitting. Try and be good to yourself.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch