In a world full of deaf people

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LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/6/2009 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Does anyone ever feel like you live in a world full of deaf people? It seems like no matter what I say, how I say it, or how much I say/scream something, no one ever seems to fully get what I'm talking about. I might as well be in a deep, dark whole with no way out. I know I'm bi-polar, have OCD and anxiety issues, and probably suffering from some postpartum depression, but this is just ridiculous the way I've been feeling lately and I've been taking my meds at regular times every day....The worst part is no one seems to give a darn/understand....No matter how much I tell them, I just don't know how much more I can take of this....I just feel so alone and incompetent and unworthy.

Lindz

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 7/6/2009 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Lindz who is not listenening to you? And for how long have you been on the meds you are currently taking...and taking as perscribed?
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 7/6/2009 10:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lindz,
 
Most people tune out screaming.  Ask for their undivided attention, and try to sit calmy to explain yourself. 
 

raze
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 7/7/2009 9:11 AM (GMT -7)   
I've been there. People are jerks.
"Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something."  -E. L. Simpson
 
General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) with Agoraphobia
Zoloft (100 mgs) daily
Trazadone (50 mgs) nightly
Xanax (1.25 mgs) as needed at night
 
Raze
        the
Dark
                                        Wolf                              


LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/7/2009 10:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Mommy.Michele,

My husband and our families aren't listening. Plus, it seems like my docs aren't really listening to me either....Stuff just never changes. My family has had experience with this stuff because my brother is also bi-polar, but they still have a hard time understanding how things got so bad for me so quick....I've tried telling them it didn't get this bad over night. It's been going on for a long time, but I've gotten really good at hiding things from people. My husband still doesn't understand the fact that stress is stress for normal people, but for me, at this point in time, it's just not something I can handle. My hands are full with the kids and house work and doctors and court stuff...He keeps telling me I have to go get a job and I have to do this and have to do that....I'm just so sick of it....Why can't he do some of these things? It seems like everything is on my shoulders and I don't know much longer I can keep standing...Everything will come crashing down and HARD and it will be disastrous...Then, I'll have to start all over again, like usual. His family is scared of me and scared for me to be around the children. They have NO experience with any of this stuff what so ever and have no clue how to handle it.

Sukay,
I've tried asking for undivided attention, but know one listens when I'm calm and collect...So, it just keeps building up inside and then I explode, then they think I'm just being all crazy.

Raze,
True that...

raze
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 7/7/2009 11:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Tell him to lay off and that you are having a difficult time right now. He really should understand that and be more considerate. If his family is scared of you, then it is their problem, not yours. For real! Some of my friends the same kinds of stuff, and I was able to be compassionate/empathetic towards them. I am still empathetic with anyone who is suffering in any way, shape, or form. You will be okay. Eventually, we all learn how to handle things in our lives.

Experience=Mistakes we make and problems we learn to handle

Perfect example: first learning how to drive

Then, when you figure it out, you will be able to give other people AWESOME advice. You will do fine. Just believe in yourself. =) Have faith. You also might want to try listening to soothing music, meditation, relaxation techniques, or do something that you find fun in your spare time (if you have some). Don't be afraid to vent either. Talk to some friends about the issues you are having, they will listen.
"Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something."  -E. L. Simpson
 
General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) with Agoraphobia
Zoloft (100 mgs) daily
Trazadone (50 mgs) nightly
Xanax (1.25 mgs) as needed at night
 
Raze
        the
Dark
                                        Wolf                              


LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/7/2009 12:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Mommy.Michele,
I have been taking my meds regularly for a month now and the docs won't change my meds 'till I get blood work done....

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/7/2009 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for you posts first of all. It is greatly appreciated.

Raze,
When I do have a little bit of spare time, I usually just try to sit down for a minute or two, or sleep. Other than that, I really don't have any spare time, or the money to pay for a baby-sitter, so I can get some...My husband is the only one working for now and he's in the military, which doesn't pay that well at all. Secondly, I only have my family to talk to, no friends here yet. The friends that I did have stopped talking to me. I am one of those people that will drop everything to help someone...I just can't stand to see other people hurting, I think 'cause I know what it feels like. I just wish sometimes that someone would do the same for me, or at least just put me first for at least a little while.


By the way, my husband saw the post I put up earlier and is pissed about it, 'cause I made him look like, "One of THOSE guys. I do try to listen and be understanding and I only want you to get a job and go back to school so you will feel better about yourself a little. I don't try to piss you off with these things, etc." I've heard it all before, but he stil keeps doing it over and over.

Lindz

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 7/8/2009 3:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Lindz... for one you need to give the meds more time. It took a good two months for me to feel anything beneficial from my mood stabilizer and antidepressant. It was a hard 2 months too. It is hard to wait that long for things to start turning around, without wanting to give up.

I too have people around me who do not understand the extent that bipolar can be debilitating. Most people who are not bipolar, and do not take the time to learn about it do not understand that stress and change for us is completely different than for a "normal" person. You need to be given the ability for an "out". Your husband needs to drop all of his expectations of what he thinks will make you better, because it is just not that way. For many people with bipolar, a job is just too much to handle. And even school. I just finally got my A.S. in Biology...and I graduated high school in 1990! I can not tell you how horrible my transcripts look with all of the dropped/repeated/failed classes.

What would be beneficial for you would be to find a good therapist that will help you while helping your husband understand exactly what you are going through. He doesn't understand that a job and school is not what you need right now. You are not even regulated on your meds and are also having a rough time right now. What you need is some down time. You can not do anything about other family members not understanding. But with your husband you should be able to tell him that he needs to learn more about bipolar so his understanding will in the long run help you. He will learn how to tell when you need a break, you should not have to always ask for it.

Bipolar is a hard thing to live with and also hard for spouses to live with. But do tell your husband, if you are to ever share any of these posts with him...to not get too riled up. What you are venting right now is coming from a place of desperation/depression/mania. Your meds may not be correct. You are probably irritable and argumentative right now. He needs to go to therapy with you to learn that these are the signs to look for to know when you are in trouble. Even normal people get argumentative and depressed when under a lot of stress...you are experiencing double or triple that. And at the same time you are expected to be the good wife and mother.

So give yourself a break. Check your household and see if any cut backs can be made to free up some extra money for babysitting. Try and be good to yourself.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch

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