New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

stuckintx
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/15/2009 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
 
This is my first post so I thought I would introduce myself.  On July 13th I was finally told that I was classified as a bipolar 1.  What this means I am still trying to work through in my mind.  All I know is that for the first time in 10 years someone was finally able to say that there was something more than a little depression going on.  I have to accept that I cannot deal with this alone and it is ok to seek help.
 
Everything came to a head when I was ready to do away with myself.  For some strange reason my mom called at that exact moment and for whatever reason I didn't do it.  Everyday since then has been a struggle and I can only prey that at somepoint things will get better.  I have to learn to trust to my doctor which is something I find hard to do.  I know that I have many things to live for and I can only hope that I can get through this.
 
Stuckintx
 
 
(I had to edit your post to comply with Forum Rule #1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use or exchange, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted. -- serafena)

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 7/15/2009 1:51:41 PM (GMT-6)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/15/2009 12:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi stuckintx,

Well, it's certainly a good thing your mother called. I'm glad you found HealingWell and the bipolar board. It's a difficult disorder to understand and to live with, and having compassionate, feeling people to talk with really really helps.

Feel free to come here and vent, ask questions, unload, or whatever you need. Hope you find it useful.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 7/15/2009 9:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome stuckintx,
 
I'm glad that you found us and I hope that we can be a source of support for you.

You're mom didn't call for some strange reason. I believe everything happens for a reason. I'm glad your still here and I'm sure your mom is too. She was signaled out to help you.

Isn’t it a relief to finally get a correct diagnosis? Many of us have been misdiagnosed as depressed for years. It's a shame we had to suffer for so long.

Are you on any meds now? If so, give them some time and I hope they make you feel better. Therapy helps too.

Please continue to post here and we can try to help you out whenever we can.

Again, Welcome aboard.


stuckintx
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/16/2009 8:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for the kind words.  I just started taking lithium and trileptal along with ativan.  I am hopeful that the meds will work.  I feel this huge guilt for putting my loved ones through such a difficult time, especially my wife.  I just hope I can begin to make things right and get my marriage back to where it should be.
 
stuckintx

Carenpolar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 672
   Posted 7/16/2009 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   
We are so happy to have you join our board,.. You will find comfort here. and  compassion also.
 
hugs Caren
Bipolar 1.

stuckintx
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/16/2009 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Caren...I have to admit after reading many of the post on here I started to feel a little better.  I know there will be good and bad days and I am finally realizing that not all pysch docs are bad.  It was just a matter of trying to find the right one.  It may have taken a decade, but at least now I can start to look forward rather than backwards.

BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 7/16/2009 11:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Stuckintx! Welcome!

Like Sukay, I'm a big believer that things happen for a reason. I don't know how, but sometimes moms can sort of "feel" when something is going on with their kids so I'm glad she called.

BP is a very difficult condition to understand especially when you are first diagnosed so what you are feeling right now is normal and understandable. It is HORRIBLE that there are so many negative connotations associated with it. But, the good thing is that there is more information available and people are becoming more aware and comfortable with the condition.

My suggestion would be for you AND your wife to find out as much as you can. Talk to your doctors and have your wife come with you to a couple of doctor's appointments. I'm sure she is relieved to know that what you have is a managable condition (just like diabetes) and can now help you and support you. BP is hard but knowing what you are up against really helps.

As the wife of someone who has been diagnosed with BP, I would also recommend that your wife seek out therapy/counseling on her own. It helps me tremendously in understanding and supporting my husband. Our marriage was pretty rocky six months ago and now things couldn't be better for both of us. I contribute that to my husband finally accepting that he has BP, our therapists and his being compliant with his meds.

Another great thing to do is post here. EVERYONE is very supportive and helpful.

Good luck and remember, BP is managable if you work with your doctors and are honest with them. So, like you said look forward because the past is the past and you can't change it.

BPWife

stuckintx
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/16/2009 12:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks BPWIfe...I have an appt on monday and my wife is going with me. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. When I get on my maniac highs I have done some stupid stuff. I have put us in a financial situation that I am not sure how to deal with it.

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 7/17/2009 6:46 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi stuckintx,

I think it is a wonderful thing that your wife will be going with you to your appt. on Monday.

My husband had come to mine on a few occassions as well and he always walked out with a better understanding of things and so did I.  We get perspectives from both sides.

I hope things work out well for you.

Please give us an update on Monday. blush

 


~sukay~
 Bipolar - 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia


SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 7/18/2009 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
If your Meds are working keep taking them even when you feel good. That's when you need them the most many people quit the meds as they do feel better a BIG MISTAKE,then you fall back into the same visious circle.........
SnowyLynne


BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 7/20/2009 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Stuckintx,
Having your wife go with you (in my opinion) will be a good thing. It will help her and you understand what you both need to do in order to manage the condition. You may not want her in your therapy sessions all the time but it might be good to have her in the waiting room - knowing she is there for you.

I hope your appointment goes well today! Keep us posted.

And remember, BP is hard to understand at first but if you take your meds as prescribed and are honest with your doctors, yourself and your wife, you will be able to work through it.

BPWife

Aiming for Serenity
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 7/20/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi stuckintx,

I'm new here, too, and have found it to be a great help.

In my experience guilt can be very destructive and can hold a person back. I hope you talk with your doc and your wife about your guilt and find a way to get through it. Now that you and your wife know what was driving you to do the things you did, you will be able to build a healthier future together.

You are on the right track!
AFS
I have Depression and Fibromyalgia 
My Mom has Bipolar II
My Niece has Bipolar I


poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 7/20/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to the bipolar community.
Vickie

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 7/20/2009 11:38 PM (GMT -7)   

blush  i stuckintx,

Just thinking about you today and wondering how your pdoc appointment went with your wife joining you.

Would love to hear an update.

Best wishes for wellness.


stuckintx
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/21/2009 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for thinking of me Sukay,

When I left my pdoc appt I don't think I have ever felt so low in my life. The first comment my pdoc made was to ask my wife how she could be married to this monster. I may be a lot of things but a monster is something I am not. I do have a hard time focusing on things that need to be done and I have social anxiety. However I am not a monster. If my five year old gets his feelings hurt, I hurt for him. If a neighbor needs a hand I am there.

I guess I am frustrated because I felt my wife could have corrected the pdoc and pointed out that I have good qualities. I am not a bad person and it bothers me to be labeled that way.

Anyone ever had this kind of experience with their pdoc?

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/21/2009 3:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hoo boy -- tough call, stuck in tx. My very first response -- get a new pdoc, right away. Someone whose going to show you respect. You are NOT a monster and your wife should have stuck up for you. Don't blame her too much that she didn't but that he didn't maintain a certain professional demeanor was inexcusable. Like tickin' doctors off a list: cross him off -- "Next."

I'm so sorry.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


stuckintx
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/21/2009 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah the pdoc did such a number on my wife that she was actually talking divorce today because she didn't think she could deal with things. Needless to say I cancelled my next appt and will be looking for a new pdoc. I went to her to try and make things better in my life and now she has ended up making them worse, but then again if my wife is going to bail I would rather it be now.

Aiming for Serenity
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 7/22/2009 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry to hear about that terrible experience. That was incredibly inappropriate. Try to find a pdoc that specializes in BP.

I am ashamed to admit that when my mom was refusing to try to get better, I was so frustrated with her behavior that I would probably have felt vindicated by a pdoc saying something like that and might have gone in the wrong direction. If you guys have been through a lot she might be having a bad patch of her own.

With a more constructive therapist I hope she'll learn more about BP and recognize that you are trying to get healthy and that she can be a part of that.
I have Depression and Fibromyalgia 
My Mom has Bipolar II
My Niece has Bipolar I

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 3:44 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,879 posts in 301,067 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151222 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, TAS-MS/lupy.
182 Guest(s), 2 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Skyy, delta30


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer