I am new here and I'm looking for suggestions on how to get my husband into therapy.
He was diagnosed with Bipolar II about 2 years ago. I know that we are in a much better situation than most people. He shows very little of the symptoms of mania and does a pretty good job of keeping it under control. Unfortunately his depression is severe.
He is currently on medication which helps to some extent, but he has difficulty doing anything other than making it to and from work. He was getting talk therapy for a few years before his bipolar diagnosis. Once he figured out he was actually bipolar, and not just depressed, he got much worse. He has given up on the talk therapy. He says he has already talked about everything and there is nothing more for him to do. He thinks that nothing can be done for him and he thinks his only option is ECT.
I was able to get him to go see a therapist, a second time, for a brief period of time about a year ago. I think he is in denial and isn't being honest with himself so he can get something out of the therapy. I can tell he avoids thinking about how he is feeling. He cuts off any discussion around his situation. He didn't do any of the things the therapist suggested. I, myself, have stuggled with depression for 20 years. I went to appointments with a therapist on a regular basis for 8+ years. During that time, a lot of things came up that I had no about. I am convinced there is a lot more he can do before he does something as drastic as ECT. I think he is just looking for a quick fix without having to put in any effort into getting better.
I have done my best to not nag him too much, but I actually go to far and rarely mention my feelings at all. I don't want to make any waves. I don't like conflict and do pretty much everything to avoid it. I am getting really frustrated and worry that I am just going to give up. Until recently, I had been doing really well with my own depression. I started seeing my own therapist a few months ago because I am feeling very isolated in this situation. We have gotten to the point where I feel like it is a waste of time. I really need to be in couples therapy instead. My husband needs to be in his own individual therapy too.
Maybe I just answered my own question, but I don't know how to get from here to there.