When it rains it pours...

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LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/5/2009 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Now, my sister is ni the hospital. She has epilepsy, had a seizure yesterday, then today she just colapsed in her room. When she fell though, she hit her head and now she can't feel her body from her neck down. My dad, who's extremely sick, and her fiance had to cary her to the car to take her to the hospital...What's next? I mean honestly...I'm so sick of watching the people I love hurt...I'm so sick of hospitals and worrying and having to be strong enough for my husband and kids and for my parents and brothers and sister also. I just can't do this anymore....I just don't know what to do. I'm so scared and tired and I don't know. I just can't take care of everyone else all the time. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions and noone seeems to understand it and I'm haviing some real trouble dealing with it.....I just don't know how much longer I can live like this...
 
Lindz

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 8/5/2009 10:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Lindz,

I'm sorry I read this post after I replied to your first one.  I mentioned the saying, "when it rains it pours" in the other post and here you are titleing your post the same way!

Lindz, I think you need to start showing your true colors!  You can't let your family to continue thinking that you are this STRONG person and able to handle everything.

You're having your own health issues and you need to be taking care of those as well.  Sure your family is going through a lot right now, but so are you and they need to know that. 

I think you need to keep a low profile and deal with things in increments so that you can absorb things bit by bit.  Only do what you can, but please don't over extend yourself.  Your family really needs to know how this is affecting you and I'm sure they will pull back some and try to handle more things on their own.

Believe me...I've been there in a way.  Things will get done and things can be worked out if everyone is honest with each other.  You've done nothing wrong!  But you do need to take care of yourself too despite all the terrible things that are going on around you!

Wishing you wellness, for yourself and your family.

Keep us posted!


BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 8/7/2009 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Lindz,
I'm so sorry that you are going through so much family turmoil. I can see that it upsets you and that you want your family to healthy. That being said, I bet they want the same for you. Like Sukay said, tell them that you were already having some health issues and that although you love them and want to take care of them, you need to take a break and concentrate on you. It's not that you won't be there for them, you just won't be their entire support system.

Remember what they say on the airlines regarding the oxygen masks: Put yours on first so you can help others with theirs. In other words, take care of yourself so you can help others in their time of need.

I tend to portray the super strong I can handle anything and everything woman when in reality all I want to do is have a breakdown. And when I am honest with my friends and family and say "I need help!" you have no idea how much they appreciate my honesty.

Tell people that you just need a break (whether it's just for a day or a couple of hours), some time to regroup and let them know that although you aren't there physically for them, they are in your thoughts all the time.

Believe me, they will appreciate your honesty and end up supporting you.

BPWife

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/7/2009 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Skay, I did end up telling them a little about how I was feeling, but it was only after my counselor called my mother and said get her to the er or she would call the cops to come pick me p and take me. I lied to the people at the hospital a little, but because I will not go in to the hospital, but I did tell my mother some of what's going through my head.
BPWife, I know the alcohol isn't helping, I know it just makes it worse...There is no more excuses...Sometimes I just simply like to drink, other times I don't, but I don't know how to stop. I'm 25 and have been drinking since I was 9 or 10.

It's hard to tell my family the truth. Everyone in my family has A LOT of problems. Everything from Cancer to depression to Epilepsy, diabetes, temper issues, etc. My parents take care of us and themselves and are so tired and stressed out. I always grew up holding my feelings in and I have a real problem with asking for help. It always seems like when I get to a place that I know is dangerous, it feels like it's too much of an inconvience to tell anyone. So, I just to what I can and keep it all in and push everything down as much as possible. That's also when the drinking is the worst and in the past when the different kinds of drug use was the worst. I've finally gotten off all of the other stuff, except the drinking and smoking cigaretts. I can't finish I have to go get the baby now....Also, I always get interupted when I need to get something off my chest. Sometimes I just want to scream shut-up and listen to me! But, that's just mean, so I don't...

Lindz

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 8/7/2009 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Lindz,

Why did you lie?  Why won't you consider going to the hospital?  I've read your other posts and it seems you've tried everything else but this.  This may be what works for you.

You will be in a controlled enviornment and they have a better chance to really try different combinations of medications and keep close tabs on you to see how you are reacting to them.

You will be around different therapists and group meetings all day and seeing a pdoc quite often since the RN's will be giving them daily updates.

Your therapist wouldn't have said that comment to your mom unless she thought it was necessary.

Please reconsider.  You are just as important than anyone else in  your family and you shouldn't think otherwise.  Everyone has their own set of health problems.  You need to stop holding things in.  Your issues are just as important.  You're only setting yourself up for a meltdown.

Please do the best thing for yourself.

Wishing you wellness!


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/7/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
LindzKaye,

Allow me to echo Sukay,

You really need that help for wellness and health. You can't do it all yourself and to think you can is expecting too much. Go to the ER. Get some help.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/7/2009 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Sukay,
Right now I don't want to go to the hospital because i'm just in town visiting untill the 26th and also my husband will be coming into town the 11th. We've been apart for a month and I want to be able to see him. This is supposed to be our relaxing vacation and I won't screw it up! We need this time to try and reconnect and relax and have some fun. I don't want to to the hosptial in Virginia, 'cause then it's just my husband left to take care of the kids, we hove few friends there and no family to hlp out and he has duty one night a week, where he has to stay on the boat for 24 hrs. I was in a hospital when I was younger and I don't want to go back to one of those places.
Lindz

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/7/2009 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Serafena,
Thank you, but today is a much better day. I only get in those dark places every once in a while and sually when I get it out somehow I feel so much better. A lot of these posts are just me venting, I'm not trying to worry people or anything, sometimes I just need to get some things off my chest. I'm soory.

Lindz
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