Safado, thanks for reaching out, you know I understand, it takes a lot to step inside that box, you most definitely have to be focused, however try to atleast use the gym as an escape, as fighters, some of our most championship moments won't be in that ring, it will moreless be outside the ring, this battle tests the things you love the most, and you would need a different type of style,skill and strength to overcome this battle, and right now for me outside the ring is me, my wife and this daggon BP. I hope you were refering to the BP and not your wife when you were mentioning the devil, cause it's not her as I've learned its the BP. Not to give her any excuse, and I'm not in a position to take sides, I'm just hoping that you approach this beast from a different angle. The way we deal with the devil is different than how you deal with a loved one who is suffering from BP, this is more hands on, more of a supportive type of approach, as to the devil it's more of an deterring type, no hands on...lol...back off. So as they tell me here, do not leave her side, help her from a distance, you know, be there, but don't crowd her. God is Great, as I've been on this site and the actions that I have taken, my wife changes from time to time, and I've notice she hasn't been so moody, she was helping my daughter redecorate her bedroom yesterday and they seemed like they were getting along, I peaked in, I didn't offer any help I figured they needed that time together they were out all afternoon shopping for those things. My wife doesn't come right out and say to the children she's sorry for yelling at them because she doesn't want them to know what she's dealing with, her way of making ammends is to go up to them and just hug them or go get them take them to the pool or take them out somewhere for a while. So I know the time she spent with my daughter yesterday was because she was feeling bad, or maybe she yelled at her or something, I don't know, I just like to see her being proactive with the problem of feeling unaccepted or not belonging to this family. I really wish I can get her back on her meds so she can have some kind of balance, and that type of bonding would be more consistant around here for us all. I am sure my children would love it if she would. Get back in that gym Safado, look forward to hear how things are going..hang in there bro, you will always have fight in you, so fight in and out the ring. You will need it to survive that battle. Peace to all, thank you all for your time and support.
BPWife, thank you for your continued support, thank all of you for that matter. My wife and I have been talking about getting therapy, I am trying to make some time to go with her to the doctor she has, I've never met her (the doc) my wife when she was on her meds would go and come back and tell me how it went. I am still in training for my next fight which is Sept the 19th. which will be my last one this year, afterwards I explained to my wife I will buckle down, look into just focusing my life around getting her help and staying home for a few months. She said she liked that idea, so that is my intentions. Since I have a better understanding of what she's going through, I don't take things personal, she hasn't been talking about wanting to go away in the past few days, I spoke to her last night on the phone and she was telling me she wants to get some help, she doesn't like what she's doing while not being on the meds. She said this week she's been eating alot of junk food, feeling real anxious, feeling irritable, I have not been home since Monday, I am away training, I will be back tonight (Friday). I told her when I get in tonight we will do something, God Willing, she was ok with that. She also has been staying away from the children, staying up in her room while they run around the house, but they are old enough to make there own meals and stuff so this tells me she's feeling it again, and I need to get back to the house and do what I normally do, lol...which is nothing but, atleast she can rest, and when she calms down, I'll be there. This is the thing that frustrates me sometimes and I have to really relax, don't take anything personal, stay out of her way, and this is why I need to get her some help. When she goes through this, she shuts down, she doesn't want to be around anyone, she doesn't want anything. Than she'll come out of it like nothing happened and, it hurts me to see her go through this and not want to changed that, its crazy, but all in all, I am fine, I'm hangin in there, can't wait to get this fight on with, I am working really hard, I should be victorious, but you never know inside that box one punch can change the whole fight, therefore you can not under estimate the will of the next man. I am also looking forward to enjoying the rest of my summer with my family, so I will more than likely not fight again this year. Once again, thank you guys for all your support, keep it up...it really helps. Enjoy your day!!!