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bipolarempress
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 8/12/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello, I am new here.  Several people suggested this site to me.  I have had Bi-Polar for over 24 years and it manifests itself in clinical depression.  I also have severe sleep apnea.  I am a recovered alcoholic for almost 24 years and have not smoked for almost 25 years.  yeah I take Lithium and Celexa and Trazodone to sleep.  I also now take Lunest so I can sleep with the C-Pap.  Lithium makes me gain weight but I have lost 10 lbs being very, very strict.  It is very difficult because I love food and I see people eating all kinds of junk but I just say to myself I want to be healthy. The Lithium not only makes a person hungry but it is a salt and makes alot of people like me gain weight! If I could I would stop the Lithium because of the weight gain but it is a miracle drug for me.  I still get depressed but its not as bad as before.  I struggle with sleep issues.   I can get depressed from lack of sleep which is less  than 8 hours for me if I cannot use my C-Pap.  I am tired of the 38 year struggle and desperately want to retire but my doctor says I am not bad enough.  But I tell her if I had any other job I would have been fired a long time ago.  I come in late, miss work, etc.  Alot of people who have
Bi-polar cannot work and I have managed to never be without a job for 38 years but now I am worn out.  Totally spent sad Thanks.

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 8/13/2009 3:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Bipolarempress,
 
I'm glad that your friends suggested this site for you and I hope you find much support.
 
Could it be possible that the reason why you are spent and not sleeping well is due to possibly needing an adjustment in your sleep medications and possible c-pap machine?
 
If not, maybe it's time to reconsider a new job with a lighter work load or possible part time work?
 
Gosh, you have been very dedicated to your wellness program!  Congratulations on 25 years of being alcohol and smoke free!!!
 

bipolarempress
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 8/13/2009 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you sukay. Thank you very much on your praise!!! I appreciate it. I have a fantastic job but it is just I am worn out period from 38 years of having to get up and go somewhere I do not want to be especially when I do not feel good. I have a list of over 20 things I want to do but do not have time to do but will have time in retirement and I cannot wait to finally be free!

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 8/14/2009 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Bpempress,

If you're old enough to retire and want to go for it who is your doc to tell you otherwise.  Or are you just waiting for that day to come?  If so, I know there are a lot of other people too who will line up with you!

Do you have any other illnesses?  In the meantime I would try to plan ahead for all of your weekends with something special to look forward to.

blush
~sukay~
 Bipolar - 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/14/2009 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi bpempress,

In typical computer disaster fashion, I had a long reply fashioned when HealingWell cut out on me. Well, welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board, and I hope we meet your needs. I also need to use a C-Pap, which is a huge pain and creeps my 4-year old out. You are absolutely allowed to get a second opinion, to ask for support for disability. Do you have a therapist who could recommend another doc?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


bipolarempress
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 8/15/2009 2:54 PM (GMT -7)   
The problem is that I do not have the time or age in the government and my psychiatrist says I am not disabled so I cannot go on disablilty.  I started the governemnt at 32 and now am 55 so my salary would drop dramatically because I do not have the age or years.  Its a really tricky thing.  And the retirement salary would be 5% less for each year I am below 63 (total 35% taken from not my salary but the retirement figure which is so much less than my salary then minus thhe 35%) so if I retire now I would only receive 12,000 a year then at 62 another 14,000 a year for social security. And my husband freaks out everytime I say I want to retire which is just about everyday!  I have bipolalr, depression, severe sleep apnea, arthritis.  I know if does not seem like alot but I get tired so much.  Yes, I have a therapist that has  recommend a doctor but they do not take insurance and are far away.  That in itself stresses me out.  Thanks for all your support and suggestions! 

bipolarempress
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 8/15/2009 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
serafena, thanks for your efforts.
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