Your wife may also be depressed. The reasons are different for different people why they aren't intimate. You will have to ask her and not guess at what's the cause. She moght have been abused before, she might not feel good about
her body, she might not feel she can trust you, she might have issues with hormones. There are a million reasons that can cause this behavior. You guys really need to talk and you listen awhile, then you talk and she listens awhile.
Women have to feel safe, happy, and they can trust you. What has she said that bothers her over the years. Sometimes women complain and their complaints go unanswered.
I found an article on the internet. There are tons of them about
relationships and intimacy and no one can really advise you about
your relationship because there are two sides. people behave a certain way for a reason.
but here is the article. hope it helps a little:
""Before you can physically arouse a woman you need to make her “want to be aroused”. To get most women in the mood, a man needs to “make love to her all day long.”
Be nice, loving, and thoughtful and call her in the middle of the day just to say you’re thinking of her. Buy her something for no reason. Women need to know you care. They connect naturally through the heart. Men are generally more outward–work and play oriented. They’re focused and don’t usually think about
their relationship as much as women do.
Men, if you want her to be more enthusiastic about
having sex with you, you need to make love to her all day long by showing her you care. Put a note in your appointment book to call her a couple of times each week and tell her you love her. When you see her, do little thoughtful things that tell her she’s special to you.
Touching her in nonsexual ways is part of making love. Looking at her with love in your eyes. Compliment her. Giving her soft kisses. Being thoughtful, sensitive and physically tender sets the mood for you to become sexual later. Don’t rush or make her feel pressured because she might shut down. Especially if your habit is to grope and grab. Let go of expectations and simply feel love for her. She’ll begin to warm up to you because, for her, sex and love go hand-in-hand.""editor’s note:
The suggestions above may not work for all couples. Sometimes a medical problem or depression is the underlying cause of loss of sex drive. Talk to your partner about
it, she may be able to tell you what she thinks the cause is.""
Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 8/25/2009 4:12:54 PM (GMT-6)