I am sorry you are going through such a rough time with your wife. Until she agrees that she needs more help there is not much you can do. When I was treated for only depression...and therefore only on an antidepressant, it really sent me into a tailspin. My mania got out of control. She really needs to also be on a mood stabilizer.
This process takes patience as sometimes a mood stabilizer, or the combo with your antidepressant, might not work for you. So it is pretty much a wait and see, to see which med combo works for you. Hopefully you can convince her that she is worth it, to take the time to help herself enjoy life and those children more!
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch