How do I be strong?

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missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/24/2009 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
How do I be strong when my husband has always been the strong one?  I am bipolar 2 and he has always been there for me, the one I could always count on.  Now he is having trouble with depression and anxiety.  He is seeing my pdoc and getting treatment.  But I don't know how to be strong for him!!!
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty


cbear
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 8/24/2009 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   
hi, missflip. i have bi-polar 2, as well. i have seen my positive happy-go-lucky husband turn into a tired sometimes over-whelmed, quicker to anger person. i almost think mental illness is "contagious". when 1 member of a family becomes mentally ill, those around him/her can tend to be dragged down too. i cant stand what i feel i have done to my husband, who is the love of my life. i dont really think hes depressed, but i do think hes just got too much on his plate. its not your fault if he is anxious and depressed. im so glad hes getting the professional help hes needs. theres only so much you can do. if your illness is under control this may be your chance to turn the table and be supportive of him. encourage him to find a hobby. i got my husband golf clubs a couple of years ago and i encourage him to play as often as possible. that has helped alot. after he has golfed, hes always more relaxed, at least for a while. do you have a hobby? maybe you could find something you both like to do. my husband and i are starting ballroom dance classes soon. we also try to go to movies fairly often. just spending positive time together helps. there may be no "cure" for you or your husband, but seeking the help that you both have and taking any meds. that you both might need is a HUGE step in getting better. you may feel better about yourself if you are able to help him. (getting my husband those clubs was about the best thing ive ever done for him).good luck to both of you and i hope you can both be strong for each other. dont forget to take care of yourself, too!

missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/24/2009 2:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks cbear. He likes to play his playstation3 at night after we have all gone to bed. That is his hobby.You see, I have had 2 babies in 2 years. We now have a 10 mth. old and a 2 year old. I also have a hip problem that only a chiropractor has seemed to help so our hobby of hiking is not available right now. My 10 mth. old has a heart problem too. Plus my hubby is an accountant and I stay at home with the kids. Due to my bp2, I am unable to work. I am fairly under control; me being upset over him being depressed has made it harder on me. He sleeps most of the weekends now so I am taking care of the kids alone. My mom helps when she can but I get run-down and tired easily. He has always been there for me!! Now I feel so helpless for him. I know what he is going through but my support is limited due to the babies needing my attention and care. I feel so frustrated!!! We had a date-saturday this weekend and it went great. He was his old self. But then Sunday he was down and slept all day. And today, he is having a hard day at work, came home for lunch and the kids were fussy and he didn't need that either. I just feel helpless.

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it so much.

Hugs,
Missflip
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty


cbear
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 8/24/2009 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   
missflip, i cant imagine being in your position. 2 very young children, one of whom has a heart problem. and you also said you have a third. you absolutely have a full plate. im sorry you are not able to hike. is there any more sedentary thing youve always wanted to do? now might be the time to learn to knit or sew, although i dont know if you have the time. maybe you could settle for a 15 min. soak in the tub? i really dont have any more ideas right now. i just want to say i admire what you are doing. raising 3 children, especially when youre sick, is phenomenal. i wish your husband were in a better place to help you more. maybe he will be soon. i wish you the very best and will keep you in my thoughts.
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