Mom's & flare-ups

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Sassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 646
   Posted 9/16/2009 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
confused  Hi, I do not have Bi-Polar but my grandaughter's mother has this disorder.
 
 Her mother ( the other grandma ) also has BP personality disorder.  This young mother has abandoned her child more than once, leaving my grandaughter with her great-grandmother or her mother who is unstable a lot of the time. 
 
My son and his X lasted 8 months together.  They are very young, and both have depression/anxiety and are not really capable of caring for a child.  They fight and no-body cooks much, or cleans.  My grandaughter is now 20 months and is bounced between the Grandmother * at her convienence, / Great-grandmother who is 70 + & us & our son.
 
My question is: if you go off the meds, or flare up, do you loose that motherly bond, does it not matter if you see your child or not? Does your love for your child turn on and off?    Because, I remember when my kids were born and still babies, I couldn't bare to be apart from them. 
 
I am sooooo worried for my grandaughter's future.  I hope she has a stable home by the time she starts school. 
 
Thanks for listening....Sassy
 
 
 
 
 
Left sided UC dx 03
1200 asacol daily
30mg Celexa daily & rising as anxiety is back
Suffering from a bad case of menopause!


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/16/2009 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sassy,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar forum. I think your issue is a bit more complex than motherly bond, and I think you've answered your own questions, truly. At my worst I would still walk through fire for my child. I took care of her better than I took care of myself. But that's who I am. I think the bipolar makes people do very foolish things, but it can't change who you are. Moods go up and down, the ability to function and to make good decisions comes and goes, but basic values don't evaporate. Your granddaughter's mother is young, suffers from a mood disorder, and it doesn't sound like she has a good support system. She needs proper medical maintenance to keep the bipolar in check so she can focus on her family. But she has to WANT that first. She needs medicine and therapy to keep the bipolar swings at bay. If she's not being treated, anything is possible.

I can only say that if possible you need to be the stability in your granddaughter's life. You and your son can do your best to counteract whatever chaos your granddaughter gets from the other side of her family. It will make a lot of difference.

Good luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 9/17/2009 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sassy.
No...bipolar does not make you stop having a mother bond. I am exceptionally close to my 2 children. I have never not cared about them, or wanted to see them. They are the reason I work so hard to be stable. Them and my husband.
As Serafena said, the core values of a person are always the core values. A change in emotions does not change that.
Hang in there, and be there for that child as much as you can. Hopefully, her mother will grow up and realize what she has there, and will do what she needs to do.
Vickie

chrisnsteph1022
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 973
   Posted 9/17/2009 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
This is a hard one for me. I love my children unconditionally and always will. HOWEVER, when I'm depressed, it's not that I don't want them around, but I get irritable a lot easier, and I just want to be alone. I would miss them if I went a day without seeing them, and my bond with them is never gone. But sometimes a break is nice.
Stephanie, 29, married for 10 wonderful years and mommy to two awesome toddlers
dx with Crohn's 4/2003, in remission from 11/2003 to 7/2009
omeprazole 40mg, zoloft 100mg, apriso 1500mg, dicyclomine 3/day
dx with bipolar II 8/2009, re-diagnosed with bipolar I 9/09
Apparently allergic to lamictal...waiting on next rx


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 9/18/2009 3:27 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sassy,

Such a very sad situation.  I hope that you and your son will make the necessary and proper decisions when it comes to the welfare of your grandaughter.  Continue to offer as much support as you possibly can.  Serafena gave some excellent advise and information that you should consider.

Best of luck.


Sassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 646
   Posted 9/18/2009 8:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your replies. Sukay- I am stressing over making any decisions about my grandaughters welfare. If this was my daughter's child, it would be easier, but it's my son's, and he is not ready to take on full responsibilities of raising a child alone. I would never want to separate a mother and child, but in this case, maybe it would be best.

She has been violent with my son leaving him with black eyes etc. Her mother has a restraining order against her from her current husband for physical abuse. I don't know if she could be abusive to her own daughter?? I just worry.

Sad Sassy
 
Left sided UC dx 03
1200 asacol daily
30mg Celexa daily & rising as anxiety is back
Suffering from a bad case of menopause!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 7:54 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,733,314 posts in 301,103 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151244 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Wedge.
379 Guest(s), 14 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
George_, TOOTY, Charmed3, White Bird, ChickNorris, pressurehead, InTheShop, FLBeachgal, Poppie, BostonMarigold, iamamess, poopme, Graytech, LanieG


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer