I think you should take your doc's advice. Suicidal ideation is nothing to take lightly, and in the hospital they can watch you, get you some different drugs as well as some meds to calm you down. It's calm there, you have less stress, and you will get back on your feet quickly. Yes, it's stressful and difficult for the family, but they just want you to be well, I'm sure, and would do whatever it takes to help you get there.
I was in the hospital at the end of August. I know just how you feel. It's no fun being away from your family, and it's hard on them, but it really turned me around. They got me off the abilify (which caused me to have a mixed episode) and put me on lithium. I was so much better a week later.
I'm not saying it's going to cure you or anything, I just know that it can help. I've done it twice now.
Even if you decide against it, keep posting, keep writing. It helps and we are here for you!
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER