Post Edited (ImDealing) : 9/25/2009 9:12:21 AM (GMT-6)
Hopefully you and your wife will be able to find peace as well Bloom.
If you two ultimately decide to try to reconcile, take it nice and slow. She needs to stop cheating, and own responsibility for taking care of herself and deal with her disorder.
Based on your comments about feeling panic/stress that caused you to get physically ill, it sounds like you could benefit from some self reflection and taking care of your own issues. (This from a guy who knows he has his own issues ... please don't take offense. )
Re: my situation. Its probably true that we both see each other as safe and are staying in a comfort zone ... but we've been together for 20 years. After the initial pain of the separation and divorce, and working through all the negative emotions, we came out the other sid still liking each other. If it wasn't for how financially damaging it would be for me to stay married to her, I would ask her to put the divorce on hold.
She is a wonderful woman. Even though the BP caused some terrible things, it brought some great things as well. She is exciting, and creative. She pulls me out of myself and I feel joy around her. There is little downside to me to continue seeing her for now. Except for the little thing of not being able to move on and possibly have a relationship with someone else ... something I cannot even fathom.
I still have faith that marriages and relationships can be successful when one of the partners has BP. It takes committment, love, honesty, and communication from both sides.
For now, I will continue haunting this board, and if something comes up that I can contribute too, you will hear from me again.
Post Edited (happy bill) : 10/31/2009 5:04:23 PM (GMT-6)