I just woke up feeling off today. I have tried my best to keep it inside. But people in my house just did not even bother to see what was up. The hubs just got mad cause I wasn't talking a whole lot, so he'd start stomping around the house. I was doing everything I could to control myself and not explode and I was on the verge of exploding.
It took until I was done with him pestering me and I broke down and told him that I can't do it today and just broke down. He apologized for not realizing sooner. But I also asked him to try and put himself in my shoes and imagine how hard it is to deal with things and just with life in general.
So why is it that I still feel bad after I was able to open up to him and let him know that it was't a good day so that he wouldn't continue to bother me or even get mad himself. I feel like I have to lock myself up in a room just so that my emotions don't affect the rest of the house. I have seriously thought about inpatient care. I was doing real good for a couple of days but today I just felt like I had a ton of bricks on my shoulders and I have no other support system other then my husband in which to talk to and most of the time he doesn't understand.
I mean it's not like I can exactly verbalize my feelings and what may have triggered it. I have a hard enough time trying to wrap my brain around what is going on much less try to explain to someone else who don't have the patience to stop and listen to me when you can tell that my body language is off. I thought I was doing a good thing by keeping things bottled up so that I don't blow up everyone else.
Zanaflax, Savella, Seroquel, ambien and occasionally a pain killer
Fibro, Bi-Polar, PCOS