Today was a bad day

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topsyturvy
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 9/27/2009 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I just woke up feeling off today.  I have tried my best to keep it inside.  But people in my house just did not even bother to see what was up.  The hubs just got mad cause I wasn't talking a whole lot, so he'd start stomping around the house.  I was doing everything I could to control myself and not explode and I was on the verge of exploding.
 
It took until I was done with him pestering me and I broke down and told him that I can't do it today and just broke down.  He apologized for not realizing sooner.  But I also asked him to try and put himself in my shoes and imagine how hard it is to deal with things and just with life in general.
 
So why is it that I still feel bad after I was able to open up to him and let him know that it was't a good day so that he wouldn't continue to bother me or even get mad himself.  I feel like I have to lock myself up in a room just so that my emotions don't affect the rest of the house.  I have seriously thought about inpatient care.  I was doing real good for a couple of days but today I just felt like I had a ton of bricks on my shoulders and I have no other support system other then my husband in which to talk to and most of the time he doesn't understand.
 
I mean it's not like I can exactly verbalize my feelings and what may have triggered it.  I have a hard enough time trying to wrap my brain around what is going on much less try to explain to someone else who don't have the patience to stop and listen to me when you can tell that my body language is off.  I thought I was doing a good thing by keeping things bottled up so that I don't blow up everyone else.
Ramie
 
Zanaflax, Savella, Seroquel, ambien and occasionally a pain killer
 
Fibro, Bi-Polar, PCOS


SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 9/28/2009 1:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Go talk to your Dr ASAP!!
SnowyLynne


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/28/2009 9:06 AM (GMT -7)   
You shouldn't have to lock yourself in a room to hide your emotions. Your emotions are part of who you are. How your family deals with your emotions is up to them. You aren't responsible for your husband stomping around -- that's his deal, just as your emotions are yours.

All you can do is control your own behavior. It's good that you finally opened up and told your husband what was up. That helps everyone feel more sane: you're not hiding who you are, and your husband knows how to react, so that calms him down too.

You still feel bad because you're feeling guilty. You need to let that go. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You haven't done anything wrong.

Good luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


topsyturvy
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 9/28/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Today wasn't really any better. In fact I was trying to talk to dh again about things and he just got up and went to bed. It has made me rather angry but I'm handling those feelings rather well but that doesn't mean I'm not mad about it.

something has got to give.
Ramie
 
Zanaflax, Savella, Seroquel, ambien and occasionally a pain killer
 
Fibro, Bi-Polar, PCOS

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