OMG..Where do I start???? First of all I'm writing this for my sister who is beyond distraut right now...as she has been for all of her oldest child's 15 years. I have bragged about
this wonderful site to her and now I need your advice. I have her permission to write on her behalf.
Again, where do I start? This is an abusive daughter who regularly cusses out her mother without mercy. She gets physically abusive too and says THE MOST BIZZAR HURTFUL things imaginable, things that no child should ever say to a mother. She, at 15, is a large and scarey girl who has threatened to push her mother down concrete stairs. She tried to kill her younger sister once by smothering her. She's put her sister in the hospital 3 times, not so much on purpose (we hope) but by explosive reactions. She's very strong. At 5 years old she grabbed a knife and threatened to stab her pregnant mom. As a baby, Laura would scream and scream in anger (?) until she was beet red, much more so than the average child. She had violent temper tantrums that lasted for hours and hours.
In recent years she's started cutting and burning herself. A few weeks ago she swallowed a whole bottle of her meds in a screaming fit because my sister wouldn't take Laura to her friend's house. Laura was already on restriction. All it takes is for Laura not to get her way, then she flies into a no-holds-barred rage. This has been going on for 15 years!!
Then, this same child will get SO depressed and sad. But my poor sister is so worn down and broken hearted that she has little compassion left for this child that she DOES love. Laura can be very sweet and funny too. She can be very loving.
And then other times she's, dare I say it, pure "evil". This first child is the child she and her husband prayed for after years of infertility. (I guess we should be careful what we ask for) Their dream has become a nightmare and please believe me when I say I'm not exaggerating.
It's strange she also rarely apologises for anything. When she's done screaming she goes to bed and sleeps peacefully while my sister stays awake all night trying to recover.
Yes, they have called the authorities. Yes, she's seeing a doctor (has been for years for what it's worth) Yes, Laura has been is special programs with Kaiser Permanente, their insurance carrier. Nothing works and no one listens. My sister has told them it's more than mere Depression or Passive Aggressive as she's been told. but no one listens...
Laura also hears voices and sees things. Once Laura suddenly threw her head back and started screaming that something was trying to choke her. She once said a "ghost" pushed her down the stairs.
Sorry this is so long, but there's a lot to say. All this "drama" (that's a nice word for it) is witnessed by their 2 younger daughters and now the youngest (7) is mimicking her oldest sister's cold-hearted behavior. It's affected their childhoods big time as well as my sister's marriage. My sister's husband is supportive of her but is SO passive. He won't stand up to Laura until things get really bad. My sister feels like she can't count on him very much...it's very sad. They're both so tired of it all.
Plus, they're on the edge financially and have really suffered from having to pay co-payments for the various programs. They just feel SO HOPELESS and that their whole family is at the mercy of this child. It's a nightmare!!!
ARE THERE ANY OPTIONS OUT THERE?? Any long term options? Laura refuses to take her meds regularly.
Sometimes my sister wishes that Laura would do as she often threatens to do, and just run away. Laura says that she can hardly wait until she's 18 and can move out. Then she tells my sister about
all the awful things she's going to do when she's on her own.
They're at the end of their rope. Is there any place that will take Laura in? It's so sad to ask that but they have 2 other children whose childhoods are being affected by this sibbling. Are there options when you have no money to speak of????????
Thank you in advance for your much needed help, Diane