please help me..

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april85
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/6/2009 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
i am convinced that my boyfriend of almost 2 years is bipolar. his grandma, dad, and sister are all bipolar and he shows definite signs of it. he has the most unrealistic ideas when he is manic and sleeps all day when he is depressed. he has gotten help for the depression and is manic most of the time now. he wont be truthful with the dr. about his mania. my question is.. he constantly tells me he hates me, i've done nothing but cheat on him (which i haven't), he wants to be with someone else and that i don't love him..is this normal for someone with this disease? i dont want to leave him because i do love him and want to help him through this. he just freaks out on me out of nowhere and then the next day acts as if nothing has really happened..does he really not want me or is it just the disease..like i said we have been together for almost 2 years..we live together and have most of that time. also...do bipolar people have a hard time committing to a relationship?

april85
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/6/2009 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   
so i guess nobody can help me...i joined this forum in hopes of advice but i guess i was wrong.

Sassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 646
   Posted 10/6/2009 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I'm not on this forum much, but my grandaughter's mom is Bi-Polar.  So is her mother.  So it seems to run in some families.  She does not stay on her meds, has not been able to keep a job, relationship or any real committments.  She has not seen her baby, except for a couple hrs in the last month.  From what I know it is very very hard  to love someone with BP.  My son has been punched etc. and is made to feel guilty about every little thing he doesn't do right.  Yet, he keeps going back for more punishment.  He thinks he can help or change her.  Does this sound like you? 
 
Your boyfriend really needs to be properly dx.  When my grandaughter's mom becomes manic, she starts talking 90 miles an hour.  She becomes invincible.  She will spend $ like its water. 
She becomes angry and violent at times.  I think people with BP can have a variety of symptoms, most of which can be controlled with proper medication.  Your bf may or may not even have BP.  I hear it can take a long time to be dx.  I wish you good luck and hope you stay here for support. 
 
 
 
Left sided UC dx 03
1200 asacol daily
30mg Celexa daily & rising as anxiety is back
Suffering from a bad case of menopause!


livinbp87
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/6/2009 8:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I myself am bipolar. Your boyfriend needs to be truthful with his doctor. Sexual promiscuity can be a symptom of the disorder and research has found that it does tend to run in families. I just started a blog if anyone is interested. http://livingwithbipolardisorder-livinbp87.blogspot.com/

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/6/2009 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
April,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board. You waited all of 15 minutes before getting snippy with the board. This is not that heavily populated a board. We get 5-6 posts a day. You'll just have to be more patient if you want some help.

It's impossible to tell from your description. Some bipolar people (by no means all) have trouble with relationships, but you could say the same about people without bipolar. What you describe certainly happens with bipolar people, but it also happens with normal people who are just manipulative. What else in your bf's behaviors leads you to think he's manic and lying to his psych?

Best wishes,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER

Post Edited (serafena) : 10/6/2009 9:34:19 PM (GMT-6)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/6/2009 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi livinbp87,

Welcome to you as well. Start a new topic and tell us a little bit about yourself. Thanks for the link.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 10/8/2009 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi April85,
Welcome to the BP forum. But, as Serafena said you should know that this forum is not like a chat room. People post when they can and hope to provide support to each other.

That being said, the symptoms you describe can be attributed to bipolar. Having other immediate family members with a diagnosis of BP can increase the chance that your BF may have the condition as well. But, he needs to get a proper diagnosis. If he is lying to his doctor as you say, then it seems that he isn't ready to accept that he may have the condition. It is up to him to get properly diagnosed. But if you love him and are willing to support him, let him know.

My husband has BP (suffers from the mania side) and was diagnosed just about 20 years ago. It took him until just this past May to accept his diagnosis and commit to being responsible for his condition. Since May he has been compliant with his medication and talk therapy. We've been together for six years-married for two-and although our relationship was great before May when he wasn't having any episodes, it's even better now.

So, to answer your question, yes people who have BP can commit to a relationship. As the spouse I do have to tell you it's hard. But the way I look at it, every realtionship is hard and has its crosses to bear. I love my husband more than anything and let him know that I will always support him - especially with his BP - all the time.

If your BF starts to become abusive (physical, verbal or even with money), you need to be willing to walk away. I know from personal experience that it's a hard thing to do, but you have to let him know that you are willing to be with him only if he takes care of himself.

Good luck & be patient with the board; you'll see that everyone here is very supportive.
BPWife
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