As long as I can remember, my mother has been struggling with bipolar disorder but she has always been stubborn about getting help. She refuses to go to a doctor. about 12 years ago she tried the whole medication thing but things only seemed to get worse (I think because she didn't give the medicine a chance). Her ups and downs have become more severe over the years and at least once or twice a week she has an episode. Almost once a month she has a severe episode of deep depression in which she sometimes threatens suicide. This is hurting my family a lot. I have learned to deal with her condition the best I can (I am 20 y.o.) but I am worried about my two younger brothers because she often expresses these thoughts in front of them, sometimes in a violent/frightening manner, and blames her children and her husband for her unhappiness. She and my father also share an alcohol problem that they are both in denial about, which upsets the situation a great deal. My father has been with her for over 25 years now and has become extremely burned out in dealing with it. He never expresses concern when she threatens to hurt herself even though it scares me and my younger brothers. Regarding this issue, I am convinced that my mother needs help and is now too far gone to do it on her own. Nowadays she rarely is thinking clearly and reacts irrationally in almost every situation. She says things that are extremely hurtful to her children that I know she couldn't possibly mean and her moods control every situation in our lives daily. I want very much for her to get help because I know that it takes only one moment of irrational or insane thought to make an irreversible decision. This is especially hurtful to me because I have unfortunately picked up some of these traits because it runs in my family and I have struggled with it myself but have managed to keep it under control for the sake of my family.
Her most recent threat was a few hours ago. I hate the position that it puts me in. When she gets in this particular place in her mind, she is impossible to talk or reason with, she's hysterical and basically incoherent. As I said, my dad doesn't take these threats seriously, which angers my mother more, I think. Every time this happens, I beg my dad to do something. I tell him that she needs help and he needs to make the decision for her because it's obvious that she won't help herself (I think because she's so far gone that she has no motivation to, and the fact that she's gotten quite comfortable in her place of control). I let him know how much our family suffers because of this situation and beg him to get her help. I would love it if she would get checked in somewhere, not because I want to punish her, but because I really want her to get help and I don't know what else I can do. My dad always acts very insensitive about this because he's very stubborn himself and he is convinced that she'll get over it and that its just an emotional spectacle. Even if he's right, I would still want to get her help anyway because she needs it and I don't want her to hurt herself. My brother has tried talking to him, too, but my dad doesn't seem to care. I then say that if he won't do anything, I'll have to do something. He then yells at me and tells me I don't know anything and intimidates me the best he can, saying that if I take action it will without a doubt result in their divorce.
I don't know what to do! My dad insists that if he forces her to see a doctor that she'll divorce him and he says the same will happen if I do anything. I haven't done a very good job in explaining, this situation is extremely complicated and I'm a little jumbled right now. My mother has a lot of personal problems with me that make it difficult for me to get her help against her will. My dad knows this and hangs it over my head saying that if I do anything, on top of the divorce, she'll also never forgive me and hate me forever.
=( I'm trying to find out where the counseling office is at my college because its free and I don't have any $$ to pay for anything myself, but there's no info on the website about it.
Ugh I don't know what to do!