Thought it would help

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topsyturvy
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 10/10/2009 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I thought that me getting a job would help out, might be able to help me feel a bit better.
 
But it seems that it's not helping me at all.  My boss has her own personal problems and from what I can tell depression.  She is having a hard time running her business.  I was hired to answer phones and stuff like that but  now it's my responsibility to find files that she misplaced and has to find and file by the 15th.  When I say misplaced I mean misplaced, she thinks they are in trash bags with trash.  I have only been there for a few days, I've been bringing work home to help get it done and still working on the same project at work.
 
I'm still having problems just making it through the day, trying to keep myself or should I say my moods stabalized.  I have only been seeing my pdoc for a little over 2 weeks, we are still working on meds.  I'm not feeling all that great as far as my mood is concerned, I still feel very depressed but I get up and go to work at get what needs to be done there but once I get home I certainly don't want to deal with anything.  My husband expects me to be doing a whole lot better and I'm not, he expects my mood to be fabulous, they are not and on days like today where he was incredibly cranky it just made me feel worse.  I spent a good 20 minutes crying because he was mad at me for no good reason.
 
I just don't know what to do.  How the heck do I get to feeling better when I have more things making me stressed out and I know that stress is not a good thing for me?  The hubs don't want me to quit cause having the extra money helps out?  But do I keep the job at the expense of me.  I really just don't know what to do. shakehead cry
Ramie
 
Zanaflax, Savella, Seroquel, ambien and occasionally a pain killer
 
Fibro, Bi-Polar, PCOS


_Christina
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 10/13/2009 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
You are very early in treatment.  VERY early.
 
When I was at that point in my treatment I had taken time out of work and sent my kids to go stay with friends and family to create a quiet,safe place in the house.  I cut all activities out and only worked on finding out more about my treatment.  I got books from the library about Bipolar, I purchased more when I didn't find the things I was looking for.  I spent a good deal of that sitting on the floor in the block of sun coming in from the window just because it made me feel good.  Eventually I had the kids come home, but returned to work in stages.  For me, cutting the chaos in my life helped.  Within 6 months I left work and tried to go to school at 3/4 time, but even that was too much and I have been a stay-at-home mom since Aug 2008.  I cut down on the clutter in the house to make my house less visually simulating. The best way for me to feel well is to keep my life and my enviroment as simple as possable.  I don't do well in crouds, loud places, etc.  I stay at home unless I need to go out for church or food shopping or for the kids.  That's the way I deal with my health.  Others do it very diffrent.
 
Some things I do know-
1. It takes time to find the right medication and the right dosage.  They start you out on the lightest dosage that they think might work for you.  It then takes about 6-8 weeks to figure out if it is working for you.  If not, they change the dosage and 6-8 more weeks to see if that dosage will work.  If you switch to a diffrent med that might work better, then there is the time you take to wean off the first drug and start the 2nd.  Then wait 6-8 weeks to see if that med at that dose will work for you.  Don't count on the first med you try to be the one that works.  For me it was the 3rd at the 2nd dose.  Finding the right drug treatment can be done quickly if you are lucky, but it could take the better part of a year to become really stable if you have to keep looking.
2.  Your hubby needs to learn what is going on in your mind and body.   Try taking hime to the psy for one of the appts to learn what to expect in treatment.  Pick up a book that is geared to spouses of Bipolar.  DO NOT let him read some of the posts made by spouses here on this site.  They have been through awful situations and I would not scare him like that untill he knows more about the condition.  He needs to know what to expect, how to help you and what the timeline really is in treatment.
3.  Treatment is not just about the medication.  It also involves controling your enviroment for your health.  It involves keeping track of your moods (in the begining hour by hour on a scale of 1-10) and the weather (it affects things way more than you think) and what you eat, and how many hours you sleep (also a big effect on moods).  Keeping a diary of these things, and bringing them to the psy when you go will help in your treatment because you will get a chance to recognise triggers sooner.  (Just a hint, track peirods here too.)
 
I hope this helps you, and hang in there.  Remember that this takes time to figure out and give yourself some room to heal.  Keep up updated.
 Christina
Even though I do not understand where I am going on the path that God has laid out for me, I must submit to His plan and trust that He will take me where I need to be. 
 
Current medications:
Bipolar treatment-Lamictal, 200mg, Mood stabelizer, daily(main side effect: brain fog) Bipolar treatment-Cymbalta, 40mg, Antidepressant, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting, insominia) Anemia, Fatigue treatment- Iron supplement, 65mg, daily(main side effect: constipation) Insominia treatment- Ambien, 10mg, daily(main side effect: amnesia eppisodes between taking pill and falling asleep) Mania treatment- Alprazolam, .25mg, Very rarely(main side effect: fatigue, slowing of thoughts, depression of CNS, can't take ambien or vicodin when on it) RA treatment- Plaquenil, 400mg, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting) RA treatment- Methotrexate, 25mg, 1X weekly(main side effects: hair loss, stomach upset, mouth sores, sore muscles, fatigue, brain fog, compromised immune system, decreased Folic Acid absorption) GI upset treatment- Leucovorin Calcium, 10mg 1x weekly(main side effects: ?) Folic Acid defintioncy- Folic Acid, 1mg, daily(main side effects: ?) Multi-mineral Supplement (main side effects: constipation, GI upset) Constipation treatment- Docusate Sodium, 200mg, daily(main side effects:?) pain control- Motrin, 800mg, PRN Q6hours daily(main side effects: GI upset, decreased clotting) Pain Control- Vicodin, 5-500mg, PRN Q12hours 3-4 times weekly (main side effects: brain fog, fatigue)
 
 
 
 

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