Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar forum.
It sounds like you're having a really hard time of it. Have you checked out our Lupus forum? www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=29
Your husband needs help right now, and it's a good thing that he has a doc appt. Ask him if you can go along. You might be able to help the doc understand exactly what is going on.
Aside from that, you need to take care of yourself. Your own illness will get out of control if you let your husband take over your life. Have you considered counseling for yourself to help you deal with the stress of living with someone with active bipolar episodes? Are you seeing your own doc regularly?
SerafenaCo-Moderator, Bipolar ForumBipolar II
"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER