Hi - just a quick intro....it's been 7 months since I left my untreated BP husband after 13 yrs. I had no idea he was BP, had no idea about his family history of BP until after a major manic episode which led me to file for a restraining order. When the cops arrived, his behavior was so uncontrollable that they took him to the hospital & the BP diagnosis came about. After that, I did a ton of research & reading on BP, and he's clearly a textbook case. In hindsight, I can of course see the signs & symptoms manifesting, and know that the completely incomprehensible 'fights' we've had over the years were really manic episodes.
Unfortunately, I was only able to obtain his med records by subpeona & he refuses to admit he has any issues other than stress (caused by me divorcing him, of course!), despite being presented with it in black & white. Therefore he discontinued meds pretty much straight out of the hospital & won't seek any treatment.
We have a 3 1/2 yr old son (that I have full custody of). For the most part, he'd previously been a great, very involved father, as far as son's care went. However, there have been some incidents, where I found his judgement extremely questionable. He now has an informal visitation schedule based on our mutual agreement (since he never had been able to stick to any kind of regular schedule). When things are going well, he picks up our son from daycare a couple of nights a week to have dinner, or does an overnight on the weekend. But whenever something sets him off again, he'll disappear for weeks on end. Since our son is young, it doesn't really seem to affect him yet, but how do I handle this going forward? Should I somehow try to explain that Daddy gets sick a lot, or something like that?
Also, does anyone have any thoughts about how I might be able to somehow get my ex to realize he'd benefit from help? I paid for his health insurance up until the divorce was final & he never took advantage, sought therapy or took meds. My employer would no longer provide coverage after the divorce, so now he's without. It's not something he & I can really speak about, but are there organizations that I could contact to send him literature, or have a counselor call, or something along those lines? While I'm so happy to be out of that situation, to have my son out of that situation, I can't help but worry about my ex's well being.
Sorry for the lengthiness & thanks for anyone's input/advice!