On the edge...falling over...

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chrisnsteph1022
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 973
   Posted 11/5/2009 1:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel myself losing it. I've had THE most stressful couple weeks at work. I worked 60 hours last week. I've worked 50 this week with another day left. Yesterday was 16 hours. No breaks, eating at my computer, just working. I also have my own business I run on the weekends and two toddlers. I'm so stressed and feel so inadequate. I feel like I should be able to do this work quicker. It's my first month since the girl I replaced left. I shadowed her for 3 months. She's been gone 2 weeks and I'm falling apart. I've sat here for hours just sobbing. I've had 3 migraines this week alone (normal for me is one every couple months). I laugh at things I shouldn't laugh at because I just don't know what else to do. The data is messed up, the systems are messed up (I'm a financial systems analyst), everything is late. Which obviously impacted MY job. It wasn't my fault, but it puts more pressure on me. I feel like I'm breaking under the pressure. I had a little breakdown last Friday and begged my therapist to see me, but she was booked. Our next appointment is next Wednesday. until then, how do I cope? I want to relax, but I can't. There's too much to do. I need some sleep. I need relief from the headaches. I just can't handle this anymore. And I'm so mad and disapointed in myself for not being able to handle this. I should be able to do this.
Stephanie, 29, married for 10 wonderful years and mommy to two awesome toddlers
dx with Crohn's 4/2003, in remission from 11/2003 to 7/2009
omeprazole 40mg, zoloft 100mg, apriso 1500mg, dicyclomine 3/day
dx with bipolar II 8/2009, re-diagnosed with bipolar I 9/09
Apparently allergic to lamictal...waiting on next rx


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/6/2009 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
No one would feel okay if they were working as hard as you are, let alone someone with a tendency to migraine and bipolar. You can't keep this up long term: is it going to lessen up soon? Stress is proven to aggravate bipolar, so keep that in mind. Your health has to come first.

Call your doc and explain the situation. Maybe there's something he/she can do to medically help you deal with the added stress and sleeplesness.

(((hugs)))
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


chrisnsteph1022
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 973
   Posted 11/6/2009 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
It SHOULD get easier. The first week of the month is the busiest. The girl I replaced said by mid-month, I'd be so bored I'd be looking forward to month-end. We'll see about that! Today is my last busy day. I worked until 8pm yesterday and was up working at 2am today. I couldn't sleep because I knew I had so much work to do. This weekend I have to work on our home business, and it's busier than normal so I'll probably put in 20-30 hours this weekend on that. Then maybe next week I can breathe...
Stephanie, 29, married for 10 wonderful years and mommy to two awesome toddlers
dx with Crohn's 4/2003, in remission from 11/2003 to 7/2009
omeprazole 40mg, zoloft 100mg, apriso 1500mg, dicyclomine 3/day
dx with bipolar II 8/2009, re-diagnosed with bipolar I 9/09
Apparently allergic to lamictal...waiting on next rx

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