Glad you joined us here. You are not alone, we all feel like that. I am sorry you have to wait so long to see PDoc. Serafena gave you some good ideas about hanging on in the meantime. Try not to think too far ahead regarding meds. Take one day at a time and when you do get to see the Dr., keep an open mind. I was ready to quit my job (that I could not afford to) but now that I have found a med I can tolerate and dosage is right, I am glad to have a job to go to everyday. Drawing conclusions before you are diagnosed is only going to add more stress.
Stay chilly and I hope it all works out for you soon. I know exactly what you mean about feeling fine and then bam, you know you really need help. The meds help keep you on a more even scale, then you can learn to deal with the way you feel when the highs and/or lows hit.
Good Luck and let us know how you are doing.
With the proper meds and therapy YES it does get a WHOLE lot easier. When i look back and see how out of control i was and how i had no idea of how to handle this monster, i am amazed i'm not dead. There is something about knowing the nature and name of the beast that takes away alot of its power. Knowing that i wasn't in my right mind has given me the ability to forgive myself my many mistakes and screwups. Now that i know what i am fighting it allows me to have more control and more insight into how my body is reacting to things that happen to me.
And my wife and i are doing great, it's been a long hard year rebuilding my marriage and the trust i broke (i had multiple affairs) but despite all the hard work it was rewarded with getting my life back and it's better than ever. My wife even says i am now becoming the man she has allways wanted me to be. That means a lot to me and encourages me to work even harder to beat this beast. And if not beat it than i will take a draw. LOL
A year ago i was at my lowest level, my marriage was a wreak, my work was in shambles, i was sucidial, and my family hated me for cheating on my wife. Then i got help, got diagnosed, and got treatment. A year ago i wanted to crawl into a hole and die, now the future looks great. I still have to work hard at it, but the meds and therapy have given me the tools to have a fighting chance.
Hope this helps. BIll
Welcome Only me,
I remember when I was first diagnosed asking the same question.
What I now know is that after working closely with your pdoc, finding the right medication and dosage for you, things will feel a whole lot better. That process took going to every single appt., and calling the pdoc to get in early if I felt things were starting to get out of hand. Even the slightest adjustment could make all the difference. There are plenty of medication options there so what doesn't work for you can always be substitued with another, so let you pdoc know of any side effects.
In the meantime could you get a appt. with a talk therapist sooner than a pdoc? Most people with bipolar see a therapist as well anyway and it helps tremendously. You would be one step ahead of the game. It could help a lot while your waiting too.
Hang in there. If you are dedicated to your wellness, things will get a whole heck of a lot better.