Hi wits end:
I'm so sorry to hear about
the terrible position you're in now. I think you need more intervention than this site can offer. You see, we are a board which focuses on supporting those suffering from bipolar disorder. While it does sound like your husband may be having an episode, only a trip to the doctor can determine that. Aside from supporting him when his desire to get well returns, there's not much you can do.
Allow me to suggest therapy for you in the meantime, and if you look in the "Bipolar Disorder Resources"
thread, you will find a post listing useful sites for friends and family members of people with bipolar. One of those discussion boards may be closer to what you're looking for.
SerafenaCo-Moderator, Bipolar ForumBipolar II
"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER