My husband, and two sons,,,all bi-polar

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cra43
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 12/11/2009 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so glad I found this site.  I've been married for 45 years to a very strange man.
I never heard of bi-polar back then, but just knew there was something NOT normal with him.
One day he'd be real nice,,and then the next, he'd be verbally abusive and extremely
overly angry about the slightest thing.  I was always walking on eggshells, not knowing what I did to set him off.  Then I had 3 sons...the oldest is normal and mostly like me, more of a easy going stable guy.
The other two have strange personalities, and I was told when they were ilttle that they were A D D as they didn't do well in school, couldn't focus..etc.. but the teachers would tell me how smart they were,,etc,,just wouldn't do the work etc...My husband was always blaming me for their actions,,and yelling at Me when they didn't do their chores!
Finally, my youngest son..who is 37,  told me he went to a doctor, and was told that with all his symtoms,,he is probably Bipolar.  He tried many anti-depressants, but my son said they make him feel weird and nervous...so he is just quiting any drugs.  Now that he was diagnosed,,,I figured out that my husband and other son no doubt have the same thing.
 
His other grandfather was also an alcoholic.  My husband doesn't really drink much,,,maybe a beer socially.
My youngest son said he only feels good when he drinks beer...my middle son likes to smoke pot to feel good,    Believe me, living with 3 guys that all have these fluctuating mood disorders has put so much stress on me,,and my health is shot.
 
 His moods swing back and forth. One day he is the sweetest guy in the world,, generous, helpful etc, then for no reason, he'll get in a real dark mood, and I just stay away from him.   He also has Ulcerative Colitis, as does my husband,  so that doesn't help his mood.  My husband is in remission now,
and the son is taking Remicade infusions for his.  He started his own little business, and is doing ok.  He is better off not having a boss to deal with and does better on his own.  He is one smart guy,,and even does Day trading on Ameritrade, and does very well.  It is these constant mood changes from all three that makes family life pretty
impossible.  
My oldest son is my rock,,as he understands me.  He has two little boys,,and the oldest is wonderful, but the younger one already shows signs of temperament problems.
Throws tantrums,, very very impatient,,and mouthy.  He is only 6.  My son is very patient with him, but is doesn't do much good.  My Husband and sons won't go to see a
physciatrist because they are in denial about their problem.   My husband would flip if he knew I was writing all this to complete strangers.  I've had so many people over
the years ask me, "How do you live with that guy?"  I've learned moslty to ignore him when he gets in one of his "MOODS"  He has never been physically abusive, but his behavior has ruined just about every Holiday or special event. 
Sorry to ramble on and on,,, but it feels good to get it out.  We live far from  other relatives,  and  I try to keep my problems to myself.  No one wants to hear this.
 
Right now I sit here with my heart PVC's pounding away...last year my cardiologist had me in the hospital for 6 days trying different medications..non worked,  He told me that I should try to relax and  get rid of any stressful things in my life.  HA!!
I couldn't tell him it was my husband and sons!!   
Oh well,,,I'm 66 years old,, but feel 100. 
It does help to read up on this from you all, and see that you really can't help how your brain is wired,,and you don't mean to hurt anyone..  So, I'll keep reading, and
try to understand more.    Take care all. 
 

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 12/11/2009 6:45:02 PM (GMT-7)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/11/2009 6:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi cra43,

Thank you for your post. This forum is for those living with the disorder. While it sounds like you could definitely use some support of your own, allow me to direct you to these links, which may be more appropriate for your needs:


Help For Surviving Your Spouse's Mental Illness

Bipolar Significant Others

The Bipolar Spouse

There is also a forum for significant others in NAMI's Online Communities

And one for family and friends at Pendulum.org

And the Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group at Daily Strength.

I have edited your post to keep it inoffensive to those of us who suffer with this condition and wish you well.

Feel free to email me if you have further questions.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


cra43
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 12/12/2009 7:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Serafena,,,, Thank you so much for the links. I'll be sure to read them. I surely don't want to offend you kind people who suffer with this. As I mentioned in my first post,, I never heard of these illnesses, although I am sure that they have always been suffered. They just didn't have a recognizable name,,nor did people speak of it. Now I know,,and now I can learn, and it will make it much easier to deal with the folks I love. I'll keep checkind in from time to time.
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