Thank you red for replying.
My bf went and did his shopping without me today; which was great because I think part of it was I didn't want to go together because I knew it would take much longer, and for me I have to get what I'm getting and get out. Tomorrow morning I am going to try and go out (just me) early in the morning to avoid some of the rush. I am feeling okay about that, but I am going to take your advice and keep telling myself it will be okay and if I'm not, I will leave. Thank you.
I know I can get through this, I think. I am scared. Like you said, I am trying to heal through a very risky time for us bps. The holidays are always so hard. But I will try and remind myself of the right things I am doing. I was extremely depressed all day today and just got dinner ready (it's cooking in the oven) and I poured a glass of wine, but I know that is the last thing I need right now, so I dumped it down the sink. I am glad I did.
I will think of you this Christmas, and hope you have a good one. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with as well. But it also sounds like you are smart to know what you have to do for yourself.
Thanks for speaking to the Abilify; I won't be on any SSRIs because my pdoc wants to stop my cycling. I haven't been on any of those in years. I hope the Abilify will be okay for me. It will be working with the Lamotrigine and Mirapex. I know it's such a tiny dose to start on, but this morning I didn't feel any side effects. After 3 more days I will take 5mg at bedtime. I am glad to see my pdoc again before Christmas, Dec 22nd. We will see what two weeks will bring. You are so right in taking things slow. I stayed home today and did a bit of laundry, dinner was easy to prepare, took a shower and that was about it. I tried to have a nap but my insomnia never lets me do that!
Anyway, thanks so much for caring. It does help for us all to reach out here. HW is something I am completely greatful for, especially when I don't have family support. Bf has been more supportive over the last few months.
Take care and keep in touch.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 4mg/day, Mirapex .75 mg/day & Lamictal 350 mg/day