Rarely post here but need some help

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TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/20/2009 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Im usually not on here, although I drop by to read the posts quite often. Anyways, after having several breakdowns, I was talking to my therapist when she read the notes from my pdoc. He wrote that he had been waiting for me to crack open and that he believes I have some form of BP. I thought this for a long time, but Im no specialist... but the thing is I have been dx'ed with a lot of things... so how am I supposed to know which is which?
 
I have been dx'd with chronic depression, anxiety disorder w/social phobia, panic disorder w/depersonalization episodes, eating disorder, ocd, impulsive behavior, self destructive behavior and then fibromyalgia. I think that is everything, Im not sure but anyways I am taking: Focalin XR 5mg/day  Wellbutrin 150mg/day  Klonopin .5mg/2x day as needed  Trazodone 100mg/night  and.... Prozac 40mg/day.
 
And now my pdoc says because he thinks I have BPD that these other meds will not work (as well) until we add a mood stabilizer. I would agree to give that a shot... I have tried so many other meds that never helped me like cymbalta, paxil... list goes on... So, anything that could help I will roll with.
 
Also, I was reading the post about BP people being alone... I just ended a relationship today. Mostly because I am always in too many different moods and I didnt think it was fair to them. They understood that I had my moods, but I just didnt think I could make things happen because of all of the mental stuff. We had been together 3 months now and I couldnt ask for anyone better.... but, it just isnt fair to the other person when I am in different moods and when I cant tell what I feel....
 
Any advice? Any help at all? I would appreciate anything you all have to offer... your experiences, etc  thanks
Lyrica (15 months-quit Feb. 09), Paxil (10 months-quit 6-4-09), Cymbalta 6-6-09(horrible effects), Rozerem, Melatonin, Currently taking: Prozac 40mg (July 09), Trazadone 100mg (Sept 09), Focalin XR 5mg, Clonazepam 1mg, Wellburtin XL 150mg-Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Eating Disorder, ADHD, Dysthymic Disorder, OCD
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
   


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/22/2009 9:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Tennis,

I'm so sorry it took me a couple of days to get back to you. I hope you're feeling better today. I think you should try the mood stabilizer. They're not just for bipolar anymore. :) Many people who suffer from chronic depression are being prescribed them now because they seem to help -- so bipolar or not it can't hurt.

If you are bipolar, welcome to the club; we're always glad to have you. There is a sticky "Bipolar Disorder Resources" thread on the bipolar main index, and there is tons of good info there to help you learn about the disorder.

I'm sorry to hear about your broken relationship. I think it's important to remember that even though our moods and inconsistencies can be hard to live with, there are people out there who think we're worth it, and we are. And you are too. Don't give up!

Hang in there,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


jka
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
to reitterate what Serafena said about moods and inconsistencies being hard to live with - yea they are but I was diagnosed with Borderline (personality disorder) I have my own moods and inconsistencies and my fiance (bipolar) and I are in love (not just fallen into - it took us two years of commitment to each other to allow ourselves to fall with all of our issues and hang ups etc) but we did and we definately think each other is worth bearing with. I'm not advocating you go looking for someone who also suffers from some sort of mental health issue but just trying to make the point that you are worth loving and there will be someone with their own downfalls grateful for your love back. In our case, we actually understand each other better due to it - also we're quicker to forgive than someone who perhaps didnt understand mental health issues from a personal viewpoint. doesnt have to be them - maybe someone will come along who has a family member they've learnt to support through it etc. Basically when you find that understanding person... illness or not, your always worth it to someone and their worth loving back. For the few weeks of heartache I've had with my fiance and back him with me we wouldnt swap the days of joy and friendship that have always overcome our illnesses so far.

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/31/2009 1:30 PM (GMT -7)   
jka,

That makes perfect since. And, I totally understand. My gf also has some mental health issues. We went to hich school together and were friends for a long time, but we became even closer when she opened up to me about some negative thoughts she had been having. Fortunately, I was there for her and I understood. She talked to me and when things got bad and I worried for her safety, I told the counselor who got her parents involved and sent her to therapy. I was afraid she would be mad, but she thanked me; and so did her parents. I saved her life.

Since then we had been close. She was a friend so I never really considered dating her...and I knew the type of people she often dated, which (not to be mean) were a lot less than what she deserved. She had told our friends that she really liked me, but she was afraid to tell me and finally one night she did... I thought about it and decided I didnt want to pass up a chance.

A day later, we were dating and have been since. Its only been over 3 months. But, we totally understand each others problems. Im sure she is completely head over heels for me.... but I have yet to decide if its worth it... I stay very confused on where I stand with her. So, like you, it will probably take me some time to fall for her completely, but so far it has been worth it 100%.

We can have some moments, but we always apologize right away because we both know what kind of days we can have and that we dont mean to fight about anything so... things are resolved quickly and put behind us.

So, I totally understand what you are saying... and thanks for saying it.. it lets me know that I am not alone and its not just me. That gives me hope that we can also be together for a while. And, I have really needed that! Thanks

Take care!
-Christi
Lyrica (15 months-quit Feb. 09), Paxil (10 months-quit 6-4-09), Cymbalta 6-6-09(horrible effects), Rozerem, Melatonin, Currently taking: Prozac 40mg (July 09), Trazadone 100mg (Sept 09), Focalin XR 5mg, Clonazepam 1mg, Wellburtin XL 150mg-Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Eating Disorder, ADHD, Dysthymic Disorder, OCD
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
   

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