Welcome to HealingWell.
I would definitely have your wife talk to a psychiatrist. I am no doctor, but what you describe sounds pretty familiar. Being treated for depression when one is actually bipolar can actually exacerbate problems instead of improve them. If she is drinking on top of the Wellbutrin, she is making the situation worse, so it's good she's put that aside from now.
I would also recommend some therapy for yourself.
We're a board dedicated to the needs of those with bipolar. If you're looking for sources of support for spouses specifically, I recommend the forums listed under "Resources for Family and Friends" on the Bipolar Disorder Resources
SerafenaCo-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression ForumsBipolar II
"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER