I'm Lisa.. I have been reading all your threads with great interest. I become more and more interested as I can relate.
I was diagnosed with bi-polar about 3 years ago. I had been on depression medication off and on for almost 20 years with no real benefit... I was being prescribed them from my primary.. I think I took every ssri on the market.
Well, a couple years went by and I had not been on any depression meds.. But for the first time ever I was having crazy fits of rage, I would get so mad. I do not mean just everyday hey' I'm mad.. I mean I could have really hurt someone... and almost did in a grocery store parking lot - that was the final straw....I was so angry I was giving myself heart palpitations. That next day I made an appt and went to a pshychiatrist. He met me, we talked for about 15 min he told me I had "borderline bi-polar" he gave me a lamictal step packet and sent me on my way.. I took it saw him every 3 months for 5 minutes -- my dose ended up at 150 mg. I no longer had crazy fits of rage, no longer wanted to drive my min-van into a pole or run far-far away... I did not tell my DH I was taking any meds as I did not want to be pre-judged.. when I did mention it was after he mentioned noticing a difference in my behavior.
Well, over time I changed insurance, jobs and was having marital problems (mainly over money and finances) I sought a psychologist for a few months.. it helped to talk to someone.. ( I do not have any family)
Well, I still felt off balance and still not sleeping. I have been a chronic insomniac since I was 10... my primary asked me to please take Prozac - I agreed and now I'm at 40 mg. Also, take Ambien at night and have klonopin for anxiety..
so... for such a long time I have been wondering... what is mania? what does it feel like? How about the lows? Do I really have bi-polar? How do you know?? Do I get mania, is that why I am so hyper sometimes?
and lastly... I lost my job last March I no longer have insurance and cannot afford the lamictal (generic). I currently take Prozac 40mg, Topamax 50mg (and going up - this is new this week for migraines), Ambien, and Klonopin... I also was put in Phentermine (an amphetamine for weight loss) and actually I feel better than I have in months... just worried about stopping the Lamictal cold turkey..
Sorry to ramble.. I just have so many questions..thank you so much for reading and listening... it's nice having someone to talk too... I would truly appreciate any input!!