Today was supposed to be better...

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Christine777
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 2/13/2010 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I thought today was going to be alot better. But it was pretty mediocre. With the depressive moods of bipolar I feel really helpless.
It is worse sometimes than the maniac episodes. At least with mania I can do alot, with depression I am kinda mentally paralyzed.
I did read my Bible and pray so I think that prevented it from getting worse. I did try to get a break today and go out, but that backfired.
I had to rush home, cause i realized hubby was sound asleep. So I couldn't stay out as long as I wanted to. Anyhow, tomorrow is another day and I hope it's better than this one.

I really was hoping to be productive today, but I ended up falling into old bad habits, (chatting online) which is for the birds. It just makes me feel worse. I always think I am going to meet someone that will cheer me up and it always turns out to be bad.

Anyhow, thanks for listening and hope to hear your replies. I am glad I have this place to talk to people. Thanks.

Christine shakehead confused

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 2/13/2010 9:15 PM (GMT -7)   
 
   Yea days like that can be tough, depression is a real cruel monster that robs you of all your ambitions and energy.  Sometimes you just have to write off a day or two and just move on. Can't dwell on on any one day and just look forward to tommrrow. Hope you feel better and have a better day tommrrow.
   Bill 

Christine777
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 2/14/2010 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Bill. I had a good sleep last night, and I feel a little less like I am under a cloud.
I guess I have to remember my hormones are also a factor too. I feel like today will be better.
Thank you for your kind words and happy day to you.

Christine

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/14/2010 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Christine,

Thanks for joining HealingWell. It's good to have you. I'm sorry the depression is kicking your butt. But you've got the right attitude -- every day has the potential to be better. Hang in there.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


Christine777
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 2/19/2010 8:24 PM (GMT -7)   
UPDATE: The last few days have been ok. But just that ok. My hormones are giving a hard time. I have been able to resist the temptation to fall into my bad patterns. But it's hard. It's a strain sometimes. I wish I never had this thing called bipolar. I hate this disease. I wish the Lord would come back, He's my solution ultimately.

My DH has been taking good care of me these days, he has cooked the last three meals of late. Boy that gives me a break. My daughter will start school in September and that will be good for her and good for me. I try to remind myself that things will not always be hard there will be some easier days.

Thanks for listening. sad

Post Edited (Christine777) : 2/19/2010 8:30:32 PM (GMT-7)


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 2/19/2010 10:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Christine, HANG IN THERE. We all have our bad days, months, and sometimes years. But just as nothing can ever stay up all the time neither can it always stay down. Like the signal of Yin and Yang, when one is at its fullest is when the other is allready starting. I'm more spritual than religious but i do beleve that this desease is both a gift and a test. You know all about the bad side of this desease, i'm just trying to find the upside to something we ultimatly have both no control over and complete control over.
What i mean is that if we have no choice but to accept this, than why not accept it as a gift and not a curse? There is lots to hate about this but there is also more than a little to love.

And you are free to talk to any of us when ever you get down. I am filled with optimism, so you need a shot, give me a call.


Bill

Christine777
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 2/20/2010 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Bill.

I am happy to have found this forum to be able to express some of my frustrations, but it also makes me see that I have a lot to be grateful for too.

Thanks and keep smiling. smilewinkgrin

Christine777
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 2/28/2010 6:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Update: I can't seem to keep it together today. It started off fine, but descended into irritable yuckiness. I can't seem to get very far in my housework. The sound of my toddler's voice is irritating me and she is being a real angel today too. I am waiting for hubby to come and rescue me. I hope I can just sleep it off. I feel like I am PMSing but I am no where near that time of month.

I think maybe menopause is getting me. Do any other women have more symptoms of depression with the onset of menopause?

thank for listening, wasn't sure to start a new thread. But I hope someone will read this.

Christine

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 2/28/2010 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there, remember, it takes time to get stable. And god knows i dont have the hormones to deal with smilewinkgrin shocked
But really you can pritoritize whats important and what can wait. Your daughter is most important, housework is less important. Do what absolutly NEEDS to be done, thats it. Save your energy for your daughter and hubby. I have my set choes that i do every night also, but when i am having a issue or feeling bad i just ''let it go'' and worry about it another day. I save my energy for my wife and thor(the 95 lbs 9 month old puppy). smhair
At the end of our time on earth no one at my funerual is goign to stand up and say how clean i kept my house, or how well i paid my bills. They will hopefully say that i was a great friend, a great husband, and a fantastic father and puppy daddy. LOL LOL
Hope this helps you and that tommorrow is a better day for you.

Bill

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/1/2010 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Christine

I am right there with you. I guess I need to take into account my monthly cycle right now as well. In two weeks, it will be six months since I crashed into this nightmare episode of depression.  I have had such huge stess in the last few weeks, that last week I was in crisis for three days.  I am still totally on the edge and not doing very well, but I guess a bit more stable.

I can't get any housework, cooking, dishes or laundry done.  My bf has been cooking and doing the dishes...but the rest of the place is a overwhelming right now.  Sorry, I should not be rambling about myself right now......shakehead

I would think menopause would be a huge factor for bp.  I don't really know anything about it... I really hope though that this lifts for you soon and that your energy comes back and your irritability decreases (that's a big one for me too).  It's so great that your partner is so supportive and is that soft place to fall for you.  It helps so much it's amazing.

I totally agree with Bill...only do small things or what needs to be done.  I am trying to take that same advice. The key is to not use up all the little energy you have b/c let's face it, we need our energy to cope moment to moment.  I hope so much that you are feeling better today.  Thinking of you and we are here.

 


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 8mg/day, Mirapex 1.5 mg/day & Lamictal 400 mg/day.


Christine777
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 3/1/2010 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you happy bill and mogli. I think night time is hard for me. I woke up this morning almost feeling normal again. How crazy is that.
So many ups and downs. Thank you so much for your support. I can't tell how much it means to me to be able to have dialog with people who understand this illness. It gives me a lot of hope and comfort.

Thanks again. Hope you are both well.

Christine
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