UPDATE. Well i'm back from the ER, i woke up this morning and the infection area had spread quite a bit. For those of you who dont know what to look for, discolored skin, swelling, very very tender/painfull to the touch and very warm to the touch. So my wife and i looked at it and said, time to go to the er. LOL LOL They gave me antibiotics and then proceeded to lance the area to relieve the pressure. By the way lancing an infected area HURTS a whole lot. LOL LOL But me being a manly man barely blinked, nope, cringed like a baby would be more like it.
LOL LOL LOL So i am at home now feeling much better and laying on the couch going to law school as my wife calls watching the judge shows. LOL LOL LOL
As for my head i feel like my normal self today, upbeat, positive, engeritic. the works. Just a slight hangover feeling from my out of control episode.
SLZ yea sex is my drug of choice so to speak. I am a non drinker, non smoker, i hate drugs (I probally wont take the percocet they gave me) and gambling just seems silly. Its something about
sex that just causes me problems. And here is the thing, my wife and i had a wonderful valentines day and capped it off with, not to put it to bluntly, a really vigerous night of fun. So it wasnt that i was feeling neglected, or havnt had any for a while. FOr me that compulsion seems to involve two things. One the danger involved and two, the newness of it also. ANd after having a series of affairs that my wife found out about
(which lead to my bipolar diagnosis) i dont talk to her about
that stuff. That said my meds seem to do a very good job of controling my compulsions. and like today i feel completely normal and in control. Trust me i know that compulsion to cheat is very very hard to ignore. I mean if it wernt for my meds i would have contacted someone and started to have an affair by now.
I told my wife that if my disease gets to the point that i am out of control i would tell her and work on getting a divorce so i wouldnt put us thru the hell of an affair again. One of the things i do do to satisfy my "newness" issues is that i do look at ****. I know that many of the people on here are women and view the world differently so you may not understand that but it honestly does seem to kill the urge for newness for me And honesty when i think of things sexual and having adventures its my wife i want to do them with. But as you all well know compulsions are so hard, so very very hard to ignore.
Ok, enough brutal truth for today. But my feeling is that if i dont speak the truth than i am just wasting my time here and with my therpast.
Happy bill is back, sore, and a little rough around the edges but still here for all you all.