It means i will experience higher highs than anything a "normal" person will ever experience. It means my love will be deeper and painted with more shades of color than i could ever imiagine. It means i will have the ability to create amazing things, and perform my jobs at the highest of levels.
It means i live a life that only people here can ever understand. I will fight the same fight every day the rest of my life to keep me on top of this beast.
Yes there are days that i hate this desease, but most days i try to turn lemons into lemonade and think of it as a great GIFT, not a curse. I just have to figure out how to live with it so that i stay in control and it doesnt get out of control. Besides what choice do we have, there is no cure for this. If it was cancer we might have a remission, if it was smoking we could get any number of items to help us quit. At the end of the day there is allways going to be this thing inside of us no matter what we do. We may mask it, we may drug it, we may achieve some day to day victories, but in the end it will allways be there.
So i say to god and fate "Hey, you going to throw this at me, watch me use it to make my life even better."
So endth todays happy session with Bill
LOL LOL LOL