scared to ask for help

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morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/3/2010 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
so i am fairly certain i am bipolar (if not than just fairly deppressed) because i have super low days and then days where i can't stop talking or laughing and i become a totaly different person with a thousand things on my mind (man i caould go for one of thoes days right now) and i get super hungry like i can not stop eating. my friends think it is because i forgott to take my add pill but it is not. then the next day i will be so sad i can not move or think and nothing is worth it.
so really i do not know if anything is actualy wrong with me but i am so scared to talk to my parents i do not know what to do the up days are fine they sometimes are even enjoyable but sometimes they go to far like i want to drive so fast that the speedometer can't keep up and who cares that their is a turn ahead ( i always stop myself scared) and then the down days are so ... you know.  i just want to be the old me again but i can't bring myself to talk to my parents or to anyone. what can i do?

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/3/2010 7:46 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  Hi there and welcome. What you are describing sounds like classic bipolar symptons, but only a qualifed PDoc could tell you for sure. One things for certain, you cant be afraid to ask for help. The worst thing that could happen is that you are bipolar, however you allready suspect it so it wont come as a shock. I for one was relieved when  i was diagnosed, it explained so much and once i got help in the form of one pill a day i now lead a normal life.

   The truth can be scary, but i would rather know the truth and know who to fight than to hope it isnt and continue to make wrong descisions. I was originally diagnosed ADD a few years before and the ridilin almost caused me to have a psychoic break because it reved up my allready reved up body.

  Please go see a doc and get the right diagnosis. We are here if you find out its true and we are a nice group of very supportive people who actually know the ins and outs of living with this beastie.

   Hope this helps. Bill


morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/3/2010 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you very much your words really have helped :)
i was debating the point with my self after posting this and have decided the best way to talk to my parents is very indirect, i want to just send them a bunch of links to all the websites i have found however tommorow is the " viewing" of my great grandmother and the next day is her funeral i do not want them to think that this is just something brought on by her loss because it is most definantly not it has been going on much longer than that, but i also do not want to be a burden on them adding to their plate one more problem in this recent death (though not really effecting my mom i think it hit my dad more than he wants to show(he does not exspress emotions)) so i was wondering if it would be better to wait a bit before telling them at least till after the funeral

thanks :) morpheuse

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/3/2010 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
If you feel you can handle it than i would wait a bit to get thru the funurel, if you feel out of control or sucidial than you need to address it right away.

Now you have to prepare yourself for the fact that they may not believe you have a problem at all. You didnt mention your age but if you are young, say in your teens, than they might say its just hormones or growing pains. I am 41, 38 when i was diagnosed and guess what, my family still didnt want to believe it and it took about a year and ahalf before they accepted it. People tend to view bipolar as mental illness of the worst degree and most often dont want to accept it. Many parents feel it is somehow their fault or there is something wrong with them that they produced a child that is "flawed". So just be prepared.

This isnt like cancer, there is a definete stygma attached to this desease.

That said, its not all doom and gloom. Just hang around here a few times a week and you will find a lot of support and help here.

Billl

college coaches wife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/3/2010 10:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I have fibromyalgia, but my field of study is Psychology. I happened to see your msg and wanted to respond. Bipolar is usually genetic so I'm betting someone in your family tree is suffering from this same thing. I know it is a tough time to bring up the subject, but it needs to be addressed. You could start out by asking if anyone else (aunts, uncles, etc) is having problems that you are describing. You could also speak to your guidance counselor and tell them the position you are in and they can help you figure out how to handle your situation. There are so many new prescriptions on the market that will help you. Good luck - never lose hope!!!

AgentTex
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/4/2010 3:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,

I can say I know how you feel, I was only recently told by my doctor Im possibly suffering from this too and it is difficult to talk to your parents. Like Bill said you may have to be prepared for them to not believe you or be supportive. My mother is very unsupportive in this matter but I have an amazing husband to lean on. Do you have a really close friend you could confide in? Maybe they could help you when you want to talk to your parents? They wouldnt have to say anything but maybe you'll feel better knowing there is already someone on your side present. But definately talk to someone an start the process of getting help. I just thought I was a bit of a moody woman but it was becoming unbearable. Once Id spoken to my doctor I felt better knowing there was a problem that could be dealt with and that I wasnt just some horrible person lol.

Take care everyone here is really nice they have been great to me and they will to you too.
Good Luck *hugs*
I wont lie, its exciting. When I try, to decide things.
I just wanna live! Decently, meaningfully, I'm in misery.


morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/4/2010 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you all very much. your words are very encoraging :) (sorry i can not spell)
indeed i am a 17 year old female, i kind of poked around asking quiestions about the family to learn that every one is fairly healthy exsept one member who most do not talk about, as much as my parents can gather he may be severly bipolar or some other mental illness however he is my great uncles son. other than that not alot in the way of physical or mental problems in my family.
i have decided (with some promting from reading you guy's messages) to wait a while till after the funeral and after the weekend and then follow through with my plan to send links to websites describng the symtoms of bipolar disorder and deppression, and give them all day to kind of think about it and read up on it and then disscuss it with them i guess.

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/4/2010 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  I know this is tough for you to bring this up but take strenght from the fact this isnt a death sentence. You might have to live with some meds the rest of your life but that is much preferable to making the miriad of mistakes we all have made. If we can help you avoid, shoplifting, booze, drugs, sexual misconduct, and spend issues to name a few than it is well worth the time to do it. 

   This wont be easy but it is encouraging to see that you  are taking the bull by the horns and addressing the issue straight up. How yoru family reacts is anybodys guess but you have to give them a chance to not only hear the idea, but to get used to the idea also.

   Good luck and we are here to help, no matter what they say.

    Bill 

 


morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/11/2010 8:22 PM (GMT -7)   
hi again guys so i have good and bad news this week has been much better no intense crying(like nnstop) no scary urges tword danger over all the first normalish couple of days i have had in a long time (YAY) unfortunantly this has come at a rather unfortunant time. right about when i was going to seek help. now i feel like if i were to go to some one then it would be like " hey i think i am suffereing from a mental illness... what oh well not right now but you know i definantly am" (lol) so now i am in a bit of a conundrum. do i wait untill something a bit more substantive decides to kick me or what? (further spring break is coming and i was hoping to be able to hide behind school while they looked it over) (that was the bad)

wishing you happy days :D Morpheuse (totaly the name of my cat by the way :)

morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/11/2010 8:59 PM (GMT -7)   
quick edit to the above. yeah i am not in a normal mood ... schade (german for sad) actualy i think i be in a mild state of mania lol. oh well :) it is cool, the rest sill stands though :D

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/12/2010 10:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there morpheuse! Let us know what we can do for you!

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


Tainted
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 3/13/2010 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Morpheuse, I'm new here but I was reading your post and actually cried just a little bit. I am 26 and was diagnosed less than a week ago. Your story reminds me a lot of the feelings I was feeling when I was 17, but I didn't tell a soul. There were family tragidies and communication barriers that made me think that my problem wasn't big enough to bother with, or that I should "just deal with it" like other people dealt with things. I felt like people would think I was making it up to get attention, and for a long time I really believed that mental illnesses were "all in the head".

Please don't make the same mistake! I found it easier to talk to the doctor before I talked much to my friends and family, but I did find one person before my appointment to confide in. Do you have any friends that take anti-depressents, have gone through really hard times, or ???, could be a good place to start. If you can't bring yourself to bring it up, at the very least come up with a reason to see the doctor, then tell him what you have been dealing with. You have nothing to fear because you are looking for the truth behind what is actually making you feel the way you do.

I think it actually turned out better that I was very average when I talked to my doctor. The doctor believed me because everything I told her was true, and I had a genuine desire to find a better life. I've only been here a day, but it seems like the kind of place I need to be. I've discovered that trying to learn about what is going on in my head and sharing with others who may understand has really empowered me, and I have more hope for the future than I have had in a long time. I hope the same for you :)

Tainted

morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/13/2010 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you very much for your supporting words. i feel just as you described you did but i do not have any friends going through this (or any thing similar that i know of) but i do have one that sees a therapist and i think she would at least listen with out laughing me out the door.
i am just worried that i will cry to much in the doc (among a thousand other things) i find it a little uncontrollable at times lol. .... sorry this message is jumbled i am in a very gurggaly mood right now (i have a tendency to make up words when the right one does not come to mind)

Tainted
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 3/13/2010 6:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Haha, if nobody ever made up a new word, language would be very boring. It sounds like your friend might be just the person to go to first, well second really (You ARE talking to us about it!). As for uncontrollable crying, I bet most everybody on this board can relate to you there. When I am nervous about something (not even a sad thing), my most common extreme reaction is to cry. You're doctor won't mind, it might be hard to get words out for a few minutes, but I have found that when I cry during a serious conversations, it usually makes me feal a lot better and after a relatively short period it enables me to get over my nerves and tackle the issue. It's almost like "I just cried in front of this person, whatever I have to say doesn't seem so emberrasing anymore".

Keep us updated! Like Bill said, we are all here for you!

morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/13/2010 7:36 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks :) everyone here has been so supportive it has helped me feel so much better and has really helped me to feel like i can get through this ok :D

so i was just wondering to the world
a wee bit random but when you get manic / have a manic or hypomanic episode do you experience a intence anger over very little things cause like today i took the sat and i was like what ever this will be so easy haha (i don't take things as seriously as "happy-me" (but i did try and feel i did well today)) but then i looked down and saw my mom had only sharpened one of my penciles well and the other two were unusable (i would have been fine doing it myself it is not like i said "DO IT NOWWWWWW GRRRRR" but she had allready done it and it was time to go) , the test was starting so i could not fix it, i looked to my brother and he had three perfect penciles and all of the sudden all i could think of was how mad i was and how i knew (this is emotion talking intellectual i knew it was silly) that she had done it to mess with me and how she always gave the most to him. i was just so mad and looking back it was so silly and it did not even cause a problem.

Tainted
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 3/13/2010 8:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I am just sorting out which of my own fealings are related to a brain disorder and which are normal, but I can definitely identify with you. I used to always think that "mania" was like crazy happiness, but my doctor told me that unjustified anger and irratibility are definitely signs of a manic episode.

That being said, the best thing to do is to go see a doctor!

Tainted

Mildlybipolar
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 3/13/2010 8:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Tainted, you have a great grip of what's going on your life. I think you're on the right track to battling the disorders. You're a testament to the fact that you can be practical and solve problems even with a mood disorder.
Bipolar II (diag. 2005)
On my 7th psychologist. *I've moved alot*
Thousands of pages read on my disorder
Looking for people like me
"Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're right"
 


morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/14/2010 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
cool thank you :)

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/14/2010 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   
morpheuse,

Good luck on the SAT! As to the anger, that sounds like my hypomania -- everything, every little thing ticks me off. Since you're still at home, how can you get some help for yourself?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


morpheuse
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/15/2010 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
luckily i always relize it is not for real and am normaly quite mellow. i will  be sure to talk to the doc once i get around to telling someone

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/15/2010 7:25 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  Hey there, anger for me comes when i am hypomanic and tired. Its a very very bad combo for me because i can lose my normally mellow demenor and completely lose it. I have from time to time letely taken one of my wifes zanex to help calm me down. I have to take about one a month, sometimes a whole month and a half between useage. 

   Normally hypomanias are very good to me, but anger, cheating, dark thoughts signal a slip into true mania. Than i hit up my meds for an extra pill for a couple of days and that normally brings me right back to control.

   Keep up the good work, i dont know if i would have had your strenght to face this at your age. Its been hard enough finding this out at age 39. But really you need to get to a doc sooner than later. This desease is a very very sneaky little bugger and it can have you completely out of control before you know it.

   Just be carefull with this beast little one, it has many differnt faces and can strike very very fast.

  Bill 

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