Sleepless and gonna pay for it tomorrow

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Cateyes
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/9/2010 9:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Not liking the fact that I can't sleep.  Started new medication and finding it hard to sleep have to be at work in 5 hours with no sleep.  I am gonna be a B tomorrow which from my readings can stimulate an attack or episode.  On the flip side my hubby and I had an amazing day it felt like I fell in love with him all over again.  We went for a walk and completely communicated like we use to when we met.  I have been able to let alot of things slide and I am feeling better about it.  I wasn't sure him and I could get back to this place again.  I hope we stay on this path and I don't get stupid on him.  Maybe just maybe my mania is coming back.turn   He says he has seen me more normal than ever.  Taking Lithium zoloft and vyvanse.  Hoping I can get sleep but I have to be so wore out that I can't hold my head up.  Any sleep suggestions.  Only on Lithium for a week.  Is this normal for that drug?
Bi-polar, Adhd, Anxiety disorder, PTSD with a child with ADHD BIPOLAR Anxiety


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/10/2010 4:31 AM (GMT -7)   

 

   It takes time cateyes to get used to the meds and develop sleep habits around them. Glad you had a great day with the hubby, you sound like me with my wife of 10 years, i can fall in love with her all over again on those special days. Thats one of the gifts of this desease in my honest opinion. When we are connected to somone as you are with your hubby, we feel it deeper and more intense than a normal person. I to love those days when that feeling of love strikes.

   Good luck on the day ahead, on days like this i use some  caffeene pills to help me thru the rough patches.

    Be good and enjoy the day, your sleep patterns will come back soon enough.

    Bill     


Cateyes
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/10/2010 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
happy bill, i think your right about the intensity of feelings running so much deeper in bp people. My whole life I have felt I have over feelings as I call it. My love, my pain, my regret, my happiness, everything about me is so much more intense and hell if you try to explain how you feel about someone to someone else thay look at you like r u ok. I have learned writing is my best outlet for feelings because explaining to normal people only makes me feel more abnormal. Well on the sleep thing maybe I am tired not sure but I should be of course. Worked 12 hours with no sleep and still going strong. But before i left work I lost my keys these days I am forgetful. Long story short I couldn't breathe and my heart was racing. I have had panic attacks before and even hyperventalated when it gets so bad but this came from no where. I am finding myself more and more with stresses, and worrying myself into sadness. My meds are new will this go away or should I expect more of this.
The husband thing well we are trying effortlessly. It's like we are the two loving people we were when we met it's like it all turned around in a blink of an eye. I am not trying to set myself up for failure as I know I will have my bad days. I think with him trying so hard to understand that maybe he is starting to and I have been very open with him on my feelings so honesty helps I guess.
Another question my bp was over looked I think because I do not drink or participate in any drugs. I worry about money so much I have never spent it like on a spree. I don"t make reckless decisions when it comes to myself or children. So my question is do all bipolar people have to spend money they don't have and participate in alchol and drugs or is it normal that I don't. Yes most of the time I guess you can say I am hypomania but my times of depression are there also. But the depression is triggered usually by my loved one. I have just heard alot of bppeople lie cheat steal. I have morals and I am just wondering how I fit into the stereo type of bp. I am difficult very difficult at times. Alot of times I feel justified about a subject and will not back down no compromise available.
Bi-polar, Adhd, Anxiety disorder, PTSD with a child with ADHD BIPOLAR Anxiety


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/11/2010 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
HEy cateyes, you and i are very much in the same BP boat so to speak. I to have never had any issue with drugs or alchol, only slight spending issues (very slight but gone now) and stealng was a small issue also (now under control). I feel my depressions can be triggered by my wife (who suffers from depression) but has gotten on to some new meds which i am hopefull for. Caffeene really doesnt affect me, aside from helping me in the mornigns get motivated and moving. LOL LOL LOL

You know i think Its Genitic brings up a really good point. BP affects all of us in such vastly different ways and degrees that most Pdocs only use the regular idea of BP to diagnose and treat us all. Thats why we cant be afraid to tell our docs whats working and what isnt.

In many ways BP has helped me in my life, or maybe i have Just incorperated it well into my life. A good example is stealing. I used to have a real problem with that, and i was very good. Now that i dont have that issue i use my knowage that i have learned to catch shoplifters, i just have a knack of knowing who is going to steal. Go figure.

And dont think that it is all about morals, when compulsions come on you, it is darn near impossible to deny them. There are days when i win, and there are days the compulsions win, honeslty i am just hapy when its a draw.

Well time to get to work and enjoy the benifits of hypomania. LOL LOL LOL I am workign 12 hour days now on my days off the firehouse and feel great. This is my normal state and i cant wait to get back on the bike and ride or go for a hike in the woods with my wife and puppy.

BIll

Cateyes
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/11/2010 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I have taken lamictal and my anger is so high, more than not being medicated at all. Lithium works but scares me as well because of the side effects. I have been on a vast array of medications usually when I hit the severe depression. When I am in a mania state I very rarely believe I have a problem. My son is on risperdal, vyvanse, lamictal, and remeron and he crys kicks screams and I am pulling my hair out as he just started back on these medication last weekend. He was on them before with the same effect but when I explain to the doc then he upped his dose. When I fall off the wagon he is usually ok or I am just not aware of it. But now that my happiness is coming back he is falling off the wagon. When both my boys were with me I never slept. I had to keep the ref suit close with the whistle (just an analagy). I felt like my whole life was out of control and now that just the youngest is with me it's not so hard. I have recently aquired a step son and my little boy picks the piss out of him. I get so frustrated with this and the doc needs to change what is not working.
Bi-polar, Adhd, Anxiety disorder, PTSD with a child with ADHD BIPOLAR Anxiety

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