For those who can't work a job now, question

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Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 778
   Posted 3/14/2010 4:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Just been out of work 2 years when the awful BP came to head. I am still struggling day to day just to survive. If I can get out to the market a few times a week and to the mall to walk its a good week. I was having panic attacks at being alone but they are mostly gone now.
I don't cry all the time like a couple monhts ago but that is the only good. Lost all interest in things I used to enjoy..movies, going out with my husband. I can read some in the evenings. Mostly I just take meds and watch TV(but rarely enjoy even shows that made me laugh hystereically in the I may grunt or laugh a tiny bit). I am so not ME anymore and I miss me. I want to work so badly and am looking for a nursing position but even this has screwed me due to the miminum jobs out there in my only comfortable specialty.
Alive but not living. What do others do?
I am a Certified Doxie Lover(Weinerdogs)

happy bill
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/15/2010 9:59 AM (GMT -6)   

   Last year i had lost all interest in things also, i blamed my meds for that one. I worked with  my pdoc and haved my meds so i get more interest and energy back in my life. However not all of my passions have returned. My work on my model railroad has completely died, as has my interest in making models. I have carefully packed up all these things for the day when the interest may come back to me. I was sad to see them leave but it was something i had to giv eup to live  anormal life than i had to give it a try. 

    My love of cycling is back also, but at a lesser degree than before. Still all in all i will accept this and work around it as much as possible. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade is my motto.

   Thankfully my love of reading has not left me, books are my friends and i am truely thankfull they are still in my life. 

   Employment isnt an issue for me, in fact i have the oppisate problem, i am over employed. However i have noticed that i have a lot of interest in work and excelling there so that has, in some small way taken the place of my models and railroad. Right now i am working 12-16 hour days with the occasional 24 hour shift thrown in. I have to be careful as i still need to make time for my wife and balance my overwhelming need to make money.

   I have to wonder if maybe you are over medicated. you are right you arnt living you are just existing, and that sucks completely. Talk to your pdoc about trying something new. Thats what i did and it has helped a whole lot.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 778
   Posted 3/15/2010 8:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks to Bohemean and Bill for the empathy. I am only on Neurontin now but tomorrow starting Cymbalta. I hate meds. I take them as ordered but hate em. I have not been myself for so long I want to scream but I am to numb to express any emotion. I hate even talking to people because my mind lacks the energy. I used to love work and going out and its so sad. Boo hoo.
Alright, thanks again. I do like reading as well and it is the best part of my evenings. I save it for then because otherwise I have no interest during the day to read.
I am a Certified Doxie Lover(Weinerdogs)

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