Hey there, welcome and sorry i havnt responded before now, having computer issues at the house.
Ok friend, i was in your wifes shoes and did all that and more when i was manic. I blamed my wife (even though i still loved her) In my mind (Fried over easy, with a side of hash browns ) it made perfect sense to cheat on her because she wasnt having enough sex with me. (Hyper sexual is something us BP people suffer from, think ****star sex and than up it about 5 times) In our minds we cna completely rationalize what we are doing, and it makes perfect sense to us when we think about it.
The thing you need to understand about BP is that it is a very sneaky deasese. It creeps up on you over time, slowly changing your thought patterns untill befor eyou know whats up, you are having huge troubles and have no idea how it ever got so out of control.
Now in most of our cases meds help a huge amount. I myself take one that removes most (not all) of the major compulsions that ruled my life. I can now "say no" to them and if i was to cheat now it would be a conscious decision to and i would have noone else to blame but myself.
my wife and i survived my "bad " time because i got help and medicated. I give myself a mental pass on this time because i really wasnt in my right mind. However now it is up to me to take my meds every day, and to stay loyal to my wife. And that is completely under my control. If the meds have certain undesireable side effects i have two real choices, try other meds or learn to live with the side effects. Going off the meds is NOT AN OPTION.
If you need more insight or support just post here, we understand that our desease causes a lot of chaos in the lives of loved ones and helping others is, in some small way my pennance for my wrongs.
You have the correct attitude sir. Just because she has a mental illness doenst mean its the end of the world. It will be hard and she will make mistakes, heck we all do. But in the end with enough hard work and luck you will have a truce with this beastie. ANd in the end thats all you can hope for. My friend enjoy each day like it is the last you have with her. Tommrrow isnt promised to us and we should all enjoy the time we have with each other.
Good luck and if you need more help we are here to talk to .