Any help much appreciated.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

dmb66
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/16/2010 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all, im very new to this so apologies beforehand if my writing appears a little confusing but at the moment thats pretty much how i feel. My story,im a  married man, 5 yrs ,beautiful wife, 4 teenage step daughters. My wife has been on depresson meds for past 9 yrs,her mood swings and actions of the last few months had been causing me serious concern. I love my wife dearly and  had spoken to councelors myself for advice on how to help her with the depression,any attempt by me to get her to speak with someone was always met with the same reply of "you think im mad", and that would be the end of it.Recently i found out she has been cheating on me, its been happening for the past month or so. I have spoken to the person she was having sex with,the stories he was told about me were incredibly hurtful and untrue. I did confront my wife and eventually after denying it she did confess, her reason for doing it was because it wasnt real,even though she knew it was wrong she continued doing it,further distancing herself from me. I did get her to go to a mental health professional where they have now diagnosed with having Bipolar. I love my wife dearly, and will stand by her and do whatever it takes to help. Can anyone tell me  or had any similar experiences with this type of actions, any one have any ideas on maybe getting teenage girls to understand what mum is going through. many thanks for any suggestions.

Tainted
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 3/16/2010 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there, and welcome to the board! I am just learning how to deal with myself, so I'm not sure that I will be much help. When I was younger my mom suffered severe mood swings. She would get stressed out about money and life and it was very disconcerting to watch her go through these difficult times. I felt guilty sometimes like I had done something wrong to make her mad at me. After a string of family trauma on her side, she saw a doctor and was diagnosed with Major Depression.
 
In hindsight and with our family history, I wonder if she isn't bi-polar, especially when I think back to before her last brother died. I guess her meds work for her, she takes the max dose of celexa and is very agreeable and happy most the time, then the diagnosis might not be too important, who knows!
 
Anyways, if I had known as an adolescent that there was a reason my mother was acting the way she was I would have felt a lot better about it. I'd say just talk to your kids about it. It's better that they know it's a medical problem and that they don't just have a crazy mom.
 
Tainted
 

dmb66
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/17/2010 12:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey thanks for the replies,so glad i found this site, amazing the difference it makes to speak with people who understand.I have a docs appt in a weeks time so i can start to sort out my own feelings and hopefully to better understand what my wife is going through. Many thanks once again. dmb66.                                                                                                                                                                                                

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/19/2010 8:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi dmb66,

Sorry I haven't greeted you yet. We'come to the site. I hope it's useful and supportive for you!

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/19/2010 3:13 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  Hey there, welcome and sorry i havnt responded before now, having computer issues at the house.

Ok friend, i was in your wifes shoes and did all that and more when i was manic. I blamed my wife (even though i still loved her) In my mind (Fried over easy, with a side of hash brownssmhair ) it made perfect sense to cheat on her because she wasnt having enough sex with me. (Hyper sexual is something us BP people suffer from, think ****star sex and than up it about 5 times) In our minds we cna completely rationalize what we are doing, and it makes perfect sense to us when we think about it.

  The thing you need to understand about BP is that it is a very sneaky deasese. It creeps up on you over time, slowly changing your thought patterns untill befor eyou know whats up, you are having huge troubles and have no idea how it ever got so out of control.

   Now in most of our cases meds help a huge amount. I myself take one that removes most  (not all) of the major compulsions that ruled my life. I can now "say no" to them and if i was to cheat now it would be a conscious decision to and i would have noone else to blame but myself.

   my wife and i survived my "bad " time because i got help and medicated. I give myself a mental pass on this time because i really wasnt in my right mind. However now it is up to me to take my meds every day, and to stay loyal to my wife. And that is completely under my control. If the meds have certain undesireable side effects i have two real choices, try other meds or learn to live with the side effects. Going off the meds is NOT AN OPTION.

   If you need more insight or support just post here, we understand that our desease causes a lot of chaos in the lives of loved ones and helping others is, in some small way my pennance for my wrongs.

  Bill   


dmb66
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/22/2010 12:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bill ,thanks for the reply. Although i am a long way off understanding how this condition affects people fully, i am finding a great deal of comfort in reading other posts on this site and being able to relate some of this back to my own situation.YOu are correct in saying it sneaks up on you, i have known something was not quite right for a few years now, but thankfully now we have a correct diagnosis,we can work together to get our life back on track, know it wont be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever really easy. Thanks Again.

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/22/2010 3:39 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  You have the correct attitude sir. Just because she has a mental illness doenst mean its the end of the world. It will be hard and she will make mistakes, heck we all do. But in the end with enough hard work and luck you will have a truce with this beastie. ANd in the end thats all you can hope for. My friend enjoy each day like it is the last you have with her. Tommrrow isnt promised to us and we should all enjoy the time we have with each other.

   Good luck and if you need more help we are here to talk to .

   Bill   

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 12:04 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,767 posts in 301,329 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151433 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, teenujohn.
185 Guest(s), 5 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Georgia Hunter, msOuchie, Job_the_Phoenix, holo100, julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer