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Deacon Blues
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 3/24/2010 9:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Just want to write it down...
When my depression comes, I can feel the defining moment...anyone else feel that?
And then when it lifts I can feel that moment...anyone else? I just exited a deep valley,
felt great for a couple days,
and now seem to be dwelling on details of life that will surely drive me back down into the abyss.
Have not talked to my Dr about all this yet,
I talk to myself and write it in a journal,
I had a journal years back and have tossed it when I went through a religious era and thought I was fixed...
I am in Nursing school, work 3 12 hour nights per week at the hospital and am a father of 3,
my second job to help pay the bills is that I am a drummer vocalist in a band and we play every other week or more,
In retrospect, I now see that I have some control and no control...
I seem to like the term manic depression best, because there is this insatiable stimuli "within" the depression that is itself manic i seems...
I hate this, and yet I do not want to be like those who are blessed and have no emotions or desires at all, but are automatons...you know what I mean? Goodnight...

Post Edited (Deacon Blues) : 3/24/2010 10:52:17 PM (GMT-6)


Deacon Blues
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 3/25/2010 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
So I have just spent an entire hour looking through a list of providers on my insurance list, reached many dead-ends, and finally came up with an office that will call me back...I just can't seem to get this whole Dr thing started...sorry, I get so uptight...
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