This HURTS like HELL!!!!!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Cateyes
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/26/2010 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
cry This Hurts like Hell. My Husband whom I love very much thrashed me last night for over an hour about all the things I did while not being medicated. I cried myself to sleep. I do not understand any of this disorder and I take it one day at a time hoping for the best possiable outcome. Yeah, I did pretty crummy things and felt emotions that I didn't understand and lived a very painful experiences over and over and took people with me on emotional trips. Now that I am medicated how do I recover from all these things. The damage is done. I can't explain it because I didn't and still don't understand it. I just know I lived it. He is my best friend and he doesn't want to be with me anymore. His son who is 10 was emotionally depressed when we got together over his parents divorce. I came along and made it all worse in everyway possiable. I have a son in tow so it just amplified everything. Now his son doesn't want to come over and I am wondering what to do? My husband is hurting and I am hurting. I don't think we will make it as a family, but he is my best friend.
Bi-polar, Adhd, Anxiety disorder, PTSD with a child with ADHD BIPOLAR Anxiety


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/26/2010 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry cateyes. Yes we create a huge amount of havoc and chaos in the lives around us when we are not in our right mind. However it takes years for some people to let it go, if they ever forgive at all. Whatever you have done, you have to first find it in your heart to forgive yourself. If you can do that than you can then hope, and pray that the rest of the world will forgive you also.
Plus being BP means being more attached to people and we are cut deeper when they hurt us than normal people. Stay strong lady, this bad time will pass in your life. It sounds like your hubby has some issues he needs to get out also. ANd i dont mean that in a bad way i mean that in the same way we get Critical Incident Stress Debriefings at the firehouse after every fatal we deal with. He has been thru hell also and needs to deal with it and move forward so he can continue to grow as a man.
Did you do bad things while you wernt in you right mind? Yep, it sucks, it isnt fair. But who said life was fair. But the best place to start is to forgive yourself and work as hard as you can every day to be the best mom, wife, woman and friend (and you have been a great friend on line here) that you can be every day.

Your friend (who cant spell well) tongue
Bill

Cateyes
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/26/2010 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
ok facing this sucks so here it is I walked into this with open arms loving happy and giddy as time went on events started happening where I put myself out there. I lost my job and lost my insurance all of them. my son was also un medicated. The x-wife calls wanta go out so we did Had a great time excellent in fact. She was my friend so I thought. I wanted this for everyone involved because we share children. The next thing her car is repossessed. Ok so I loan her mine for the sake of my stepson. My husband who is a very honest man starts telling me that she is corning him saying things like; she takes medication can you live with that, she is bipolar all they do is lie cheat and steal, I seen her driving down the road where is she going, she talked to her x today whats that about. I felt like she was trying to bait his brain. When she spent time with me it was about all the things he had ever done to her that was wrong and the fact he is a good dad just a lousy husband. Ok, so with that being said we needed to collect ourselves and take a step back and I tried. I wanted to get my truck back because we were being used and abused in this sitituation. After explaining to my husband how I felt he said if I take my truck back then he will give her his. We went back in forth and I was pissed. Why is the mad I love willing to put his x above his wife's feelings. After dealing with alot of this I started to get angry inside. Noone would listen and noone cared I was the one with the ******* problem. My step son was wearing the same exact clothes for 5 days straight I had had enough. We seen him almost everyday of the 5. I finally asked my step son have you taken a bath? Why do you still have on the same clothes and I said to my husband you need to say something this is Bu******. So he tells me to shut up. I am already pissed I can't. So as the night went on my step son starts to cry (was not My intention) my husband calls me a B****. His son says hurtful crap on his way to his room I flipped the coffee table it was a Complete mess. My husband goes and spends the night with xwife kid and her boyfriend. Ok now all I see is x is winning and she has been wrong from the start. Christmas time she ask my husband for money (that we didn't have) and he gave it to her. We had not even bought Christmas for our boys she said she had to pay rent. That night we see her bf out buying her christmas gifts with the money we gave them. I am bothered by this but say nothing it eats at me inside. We go over Christmas eve to the x's house we were invited so we did for our son's sake. After that we have the conversation about dropping our son off with mom and just picking him up. It seems to be a lets talk and talk thing. Well who wants thier spouse communicating with the x who is trying to destroy us day by day. So now I am frustrated with my hubby. Why is drop off pick up so hard? I don't know. As all this crap is building inside me we are presented with His son wanting his parents back together and dad and him only time. He no longer wants to be around my son and me we are taking his daddy. The x puts her 2 cents in and says the boys need to be seperated. We should do this and that. I let this woman have my vehicle for 2 months while she trashed me everyday. Alot of women would not of done so. As time goes on my husband leaves and goes to the x'x where his son lives and was there for a few hours he comes home I blow I have had enough. He can't understand why I am so pissed. He says hurtful crap I say hurtful crap we go at eachother hard. He tries to leave and tells me to get out of his house and I slammed his head into the wall many times. I was wrong it all built inside me. We struggled through the night. I had thoughts of bodily harm to the x and think I may have followed through. I HATE her to say the least. Now on medication I see where things went crazy. I see where I have done some bad things but, I also see how I did not get into this state of mind alone. Now the x is trying to keep the boy and hurting my husband. Through it all it's my fault because I blew my top. I wasn't understanding and loving like a good wife should have been. Now we are at a point where he cannot forgive me for anything that has happened. It always comes back to my temper he doesn't see why I have that temper. He is my bestfriend and I need advice on how to cope with loss of a spouse and bestfriend.
Bi-polar, Adhd, Anxiety disorder, PTSD with a child with ADHD BIPOLAR Anxiety


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/26/2010 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  Hey cateyes, i'm a step parent also and yes, it sucks bad because you are never really allowed to be the parent. Oh you are alllowed to buy things, give money, but never are you allowed to be the one making decisions about how to raise the children and what should be done with them when they are bad. My wife even said to me if we had our own childit would be different. I said it should have never had been different to begin with.

  Now, are you acting crazy about this? NO. Your hubby should NEVER give to his ex without consulting you first. Yes it is his kid, but you are his wife. It shouldnt be pitting one against the other. he has to make a vow never to give away YOUR money again without discussing it with you.

   As for the EX we now know what kind of person she is and she cant be trusted. She is trying to milk your hubby for every dime he has by using the kid for an excuse. If she cant take care of her finances and is going to lose her place you all need to file to get custody of the child so you can give him a steady home. She is an evil and thats all there is to it. And as long as the cash register that your husband is to her keeps working she will keep trying to get money out of it. My advice is to just be civil,, but have no words with her other than what is neccessary to take care of the child. He is going to act out because of all the instability in his life, be the good step mom and be the friend to him he needs, dont try and be a mom, he has screwed up one right now.

   And wee are here for you, you can vent to us all day long.

   Bill


SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 3/26/2010 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Parents with step children should talk things over before getting married.Both should help raise the kids.If you don't stand together no one will be happy.......
SnowyLynne

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 3:39 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,879 posts in 301,067 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151222 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, TAS-MS/lupy.
227 Guest(s), 2 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
dizzydaisies, Skyy


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer