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Maggie May
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 3/31/2010 1:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I have hurt so many people during the last two years, and then lsing both parents within a few months just finished me off. I HATE my job, my new husband is driving me crazy, and I miss my daughter and ex-husband of 23 years.



The tears are flowing at a constant rate every day . . . today I had to leave my kids in class to run to the bathroom to wipe my eyes.



At 60, I am just so tired of all this . . . life is getting worse rather than better

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 4/7/2010 5:45:39 PM (GMT-6)


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 3/31/2010 3:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), it's a suicide prevention number.
Or go to your nearest ER!!!!!!!
Please do not do this.
You have a walking talking reason to live in your daughter.
All this stuff you have going on can be dealt with, please do not forget that.
Hugs,
Navy
 
P.S. I found some more resources:
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 3/31/2010 4:33:07 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 3/31/2010 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
MaggieMay,

If you need somebody to talk to, my email address is in my profile, just click on my member name to get to my profile. Know that I am here for you. Feel free to pop into the depression forum also. We are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


GreenTeaHero
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 181
   Posted 3/31/2010 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Maggie may,
i tried to ... about three weeks ago... i regretted it after and had to go to the hospital... that was not pleasant..
please dear, hold on things will get better someday. they will, they do. I'm still here...

You really don't want to do this for your daughter's sake, for the sake of those tiny moments of beauty like sunsets, rain on the roof, a piece of good chocolate...

And remember you can only go halfway into the darkest forest before coming out the other side..

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 3/31/2010 8:07:30 PM (GMT-6)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/31/2010 7:09 PM (GMT -7)   
MaggieMay,

I'm so sorry things look so bleak for you right now. Remind yourself, if you can, that these feelings are ghosts: they feel real, but they're not. You do not have to take such a terrible step. It isn't inevitable. You may feel totally alienated right now, but IT WILL GET BETTER.

Get yourself some help, now. Contact one of the numbers MMMNAVY posted above, or head to the ER. Hospitalization may be scary, but it's better than the alternative. Take care, dear, and keep writing.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


Maggie May
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 4/2/2010 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for all your wonderful words of wisdom.  I made it through the week.  I didn't call my therapist or the hotline because I knew they would committ me, and having been through that before, I did not want to go that route.
 
I decided to take a "What do I have to lose if I stay around approcah!"  I guess it worked because on thursday night I received a phone call from my 20 year old college sophmore daughter . . . she was in jail because of a DUI, failure to yield which caused an accident totally both cars, and underage rinking. 
 
She lives 900 miles away!  She is one of those ideal children . . . grades, looks, personality!  she misses me deseperately, and cried her eyes out because I wasn't there to bail her out (only her father was there).  Believe it or not, that made me realize what it would do to her if I killed myself!  Was her arrest a message to me . . . YOU BET!
 
Again, that you for all the care and hugs . . . I am so glad that I found this website!!!
 
Hugs
Maggie May
Maggie May


GreenTeaHero
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 181
   Posted 4/2/2010 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   
glad you're feeling better, maggie may, glad you're here with us~~!!

aimsgirl16
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1469
   Posted 4/2/2010 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh maggie may! So glad you are feeling better and have realized how important you are!

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 4/2/2010 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  I'm glad you are feelign better also. I also suffer thoughts of death and yes, they do become attractive after a while. But it think of my family, friends, work mates, my kitties, my puppy, my wife, what ever it takes to keep me in the game another day.  I never look to far ahead when it comes to life except when it comes to money. I know as a firefighter i am always one step away from cashing it in and leaving this earth. And that is fine if i die in the line of duty or riding my bicycle, or just walkign along and get hit by a metor. That i can all accept and be happy with. But i cant see checking myself out, not when there is cholate cake to eat, women to make love to, sunsets to enjoy, whatever brings you happiness.

   Keep up the sprits and keep posting. BTW i do keep a supply of celexa around for when i get down. It has a very quick effect on me, either iit kills the depression or it creates a mania  and that kills the depression either way it helps me out a lot.

   Bill 


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 4/2/2010 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   

 

   Absolutly thank god for women, they are truely a gift from god.

  Bill


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 4/2/2010 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Are you flirting Bill?!  nono   smilewinkgrin
Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 4/3/2010 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
What, me? Flirt? I have no idea what you are talking about. smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin LOL LOL LOL I am as pure as the driven snow (Ok, driven thru about 199 times) shocked shocked tongue tongue tongue

Bill.

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 4/5/2010 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   

Maggie, I have had these thoughts and the only thing that kept me going was the thought of my children and how embarrassed and disappointed in me they would be and I just could not stand it.

Remember - "This too shall pass."

Gem


Maggie May
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 4/5/2010 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   

You are all so very wonderful!  I have a question.  I take my Lithium religiously, but I have weaned myself off Zoloft.  Doctor tried me on Cymbalta two weeks ago . . . PURE DISASTER!!!  Now he wantys to try me Effexor for anxiety.

Has anyone had an experience with it?  Weight gain?  Weight loss?  He has also mentioned Tropomax?

Please share experiences??!!

Maggie May


Maggie May


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 4/6/2010 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I took effexor for years, just switched to pristiq. I had no weight problems until I got on a super high dose. 375mg a day. But the weight could be from my fibromyalgia. The reason I switched is because I was sick of taking so many pills a day. I am doing good on the pristiq. I hope that this helps a little. I found effexor to be a good medication.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Maggie May
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 4/6/2010 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,
 
Thank you.  I go the shrink tomorrow.  I will tell her what you said . . . they are debatinn between Zoloft, Effezoer and Tropomax.
Maggie May

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