Hey cateyes. I've been in that lonesome place you describe and there is a way out of it. When my wife and i were having all our problems it felt like there was no where to go but out. Out of the relationship, out of my mind, out of this world, just out.
How i started to rebuild was to first get the right meds into my system.Then i worked on stuff i could control. Namely me. You have control over exactly one thing in this life, yourself. So working on that i just allowed the rest to slip off me and not hurt me so much. When my wife was grumpy i took a walk. When she left me alone sexually i took care of what needed taken care of. In short i worked to depend less on others and mote on myself and my animals. It took alot of work but i am now at a place where i am in control of my feelings.
In the end you need to give your hubby time and space to learn to live with you . It will take time, but you will need time to work on yourself and get cateyes under control and happy.