First of all welcome and yes, what you are saying makes complete sense. In mycase the doctor focused on my manias since they were what was causing me trouble (excess sexual energy lead me to having multipal affairs on my wife) so i take respirdone to take away alot of my mania energy. However once we did that it unmasked a depression that was hiding under the surface. So when i need it is take celexa also to control the depression. Once i had a year under my belt i worked with my doctor to reduce my respridone so i could have a little bit of the mania energy back. SInce then life has been great. Sometimes it is hard and i get urges but i take extra of my respridone and that gets me thru it.
ANd dont think you have to suffer in silence anymore. FIrst it isnt healthy. If you cant talk at home then post here. We have a great variety of experiences here and trust me, we've heard it all, or done it all. LOL LOL LOL Basicly if you can shock this group you will get a prize. LOL LOL
But honestly you will find lots of support around here. I will say to you what i tell every new person. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Having people to talk to who actually UNDERSTAND what you are going thru is a great help in the fight with this monster.
Again Welcome. Happy Bill
Major furniture rearrangements are something I'd do too. Always by myself. It's amazing what I can move when I'm motivated! That is something that started when I was a kid. I rearranged my room MAJORLY every 6 months or more often.
As far as your husband volunteering you for things - that is definitely something you need to talk about! He needs to know it affects your ability to cope with BP, and that you're not able to keep up with your IMPORTANT obligations (him, kids, school, etc) when he volunteers you for other things! That is DISRESPECTFUL. I can't tell you how angry and insulted I would be! Is he having issues about you not working?
Have you talked to your pdoc about having trouble sleeping? Maybe your other meds need adjusting?
I think you need to talk to your husband about your NEED to stay up alone. I would be so fuming mad if my SO was like that! Does your husband have attachment issues? That could make things complicated...
There's a fabulous book out there titled "Boundaries." It is a self-help book from a Christian perspective. It's really awesome and helpful, even if you don't appreciate/read the christian point of view part.
I think right now you have more things going on than BP. You need to learn how to keep your husband's actions from affecting you. (The Boundaries book will teach you that) Hopefully then, your husband will learn how to SUPPORT you. Because what he *thinks* is supporting you is actually stressing you out and hurting both of you!
I call myself "defective" tongue-in-cheek with a huge smile. lol "all kinds of messed up" "a variety of mental illnesses" "hopelessly, permanently broken" lolol
Getting the BP diagnosis and finding out my previous diagnoses was a HUGE relief for me. Knowing what was wrong empowered me to find solutions, seek help and eventually get it in remission.
Do you ever get a day off? It's important! Not just for your sanity, but to ensure you are appreciated.
I'm a stay-at-home momma. I keep the house clean, lunch on the table at 12:10, dinner by 6:00, laundry done, animals cared for, gardens tended, shopping done, etc.
But I DO NOT do housework on the weekends. I'll do yardwork because I love it. I take care of the dogs and my rabbits. But I don't do anything that isn't necessary.
Sure it leaves a HUGE mess to clean up on Monday morning, but the mess is a weekly reminder to my SO of how much I actually do during the week.
I think it's time for your husband to step up and take control of something for you. My XDH left everything to me. The bills were especially stressful because there was never enough money to go around. Even now, financial stuff causes me to have fits of anxiety. I avoid going to the bank at almost any cost. It took me 7 months to pay my property taxes, and it wasn't for lack of $ (it was in escrow) but I couldn't manage the stress of it.
My SO takes care of all the $, except my marital debt. It's been such a huge relief that I've been able to do a little bit more than I expected. I have been able to earn enough money to cover my car payment, even though he plans on paying it. I'm starting to gain some confidence.
Just 1 day off a week, and 1 responsibility handed off to your husband (that he takes over, not you having to pull teeth!) could do so much for you. It could do a lot for your marriage too - 1 less fight to stress out over. :)
We've said a couple times what your husband appears to be deficient in. But definitely DON'T nag him! The best way to change behavior is through rewards. Look for EVERY LITTLE thing he does to support you - or at least try to support you. Thank him, appreciate him. It will encourage him to do more for you. :warmfuzzyfeelings: