talking about therapy with my husband

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ile
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/22/2010 12:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everybody,
 
I am the wife of a schizofrenic husband. he is open to talk to me about his problems, voices and everything, but his therapist forbid him to talk to me about that. I graduated psychology and the therapist is afraid i will ruin her work. Is this possible? Is it normal to advice my husband what to do when we have a fight? Is it normal to describe me as a impulsive and agressive person when she doesn t know me, independent of what my husband told her? My husband is angry and agressive when he enters those states. since i didn t know what to think about that, i might have behaved impulsevly and unaproppiate for his disease, but i didn t know what was wrong with him. now that i know i try to change and adapt my behavior. i don t take everything so personal and i am sure we are able to have the life that will help him cope with the problem.
 
I have lived 9 years with him as lovers and 3 years as husband and wife. We have a strong relationship. he trusts me and i think he feels good that he has whom to talk to when he doesn t go to therapist. I don t want that the therapist ruin what we tried to build since the illness started 2 years ago.
 
Please some advice. I don t feel good receiving this feedback without my presence there. My husband told her that he doesn t want to talk bad about me when i am not there.

SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 4/22/2010 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
You live with him the therepist doesn't....
SnowyLynne


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 4/22/2010 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Is it possible that she feels that being you are so close, you might lose your objectivity? That can happen in a lot of cases. Do you think that because of your background you might have a tendancy to analyze him when you should just be regular people?

He must have said something to get her to feel this way. Most therapists want the husband and wife to be open to eachother, in most cases.

I truly hope that this doesn't become a strain on your relationship. Just figure to let her do the professional part and you be there for him when he needs you. I know that it is difficult to live with a schitzophrenic. My mother was one. I wouldn't want to do anything to interrupt in his treatment. I am glad that he is in counseling at this time and evidently on medications that are working.

Just be there for him and love him. Let him know that you are there if he wants to talk about things, but let it be his decision.

I hope that things work out for the two of you. Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ile
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/23/2010 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Hello again,
 
I never push him to talk to me. he wants that and we only talk as long as he feels comfortable. He had an exeperience with another therapist that put him to write an imaginary friend. So my husband did that. I think it was wrong and the new therapist says the same.
 
Yesterday my husband just said "I talked to my wife about me.." and the therapist talked about 40 minutes about how he should keep their dissusion in private and i shouldn t talk to him about his diseas anymore. I only want to be inform about his condition so i don t harm him with jokes or other stuff.
 
Another thing that surprised me is that the new therapist told him he suffers from  schizofrenia after their first hour of therapy. I don t think you can do this. My husband has his crisis but it is not on meds and i still can talk to him, and have a sort of relation. He helps me with the housekeeping, he goes to work and he studies for school. So if it is schizophrenia, I don t think he is in such bad condition as the therapist said.
 
My husband said, after he found out about the schiyophrenia stuff that he makes love with his wife. (he taught till now that he is only veru depressed). the therapist said: "It is only an one hour escape from your negative thoughts." Is this normal?
 
Thank you for your support.

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 4/23/2010 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   
I think that is off.  Really strange.  My therapist wanted my SO to come to sessions so that he would know what was going on and how to best support me.
 
The PRIMARY relationship is between you and your husband.  Any therapy is to make his life as an individual and your relationship better!
Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

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