Okay everyone.....I'm still here and yes I took my posts with me and gave a copy of them to my therapist. I read them to her first....It was hard, and hurt but I felt some relief from it. She agreed the hospital would be a waste of time unless I was intending to hurt myself, which as long as I keep up the good fight I'll just take it one day at a time. My pdoc was another story. Useless.....He did change my meds again. put me back on pristiq / off prozac because I've at least had some relief from that one. and hadn't taken it with a mood stabilizer. He kept me on Lamicital waiting for my jump to 100mg next week, Ambien CR and a low dose of xanax and refuses to up it because he insists he is ANTI XANAX and thinks it should be taken off the market all together. The only reason he keeps me on it is because I was prescribed it before. UGH
I offered him a copy of my posts, to see if he wanted at least an idea of what makes me tick but he declined and said that was more for my talk therapy and he was simply for meds. He suggested that there may not be any medication that works for me. That this may be just the way I am for the rest of my life....(some motivator) I'm basically a dart board and he the dart thrower tossing medications at me until something hits the bullseye. Frustrating.........
On another note... I know what you were talking about
when you said my husband was just trying to help. I know I'm overly sensitive. I also tend to take words with all possible meanings behind them. I'm just so used to guilt trips. My family is great at them. My husband too if you knew him. But It's meant with love and caring just the same. I don't usually mince words. I say whatever is on my mind or in my heart. I can't help but give everything I have. I'm kind of an all or nothing girl and don't expect less from anyone else. (bad habit)
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS
Borderline Personality Disorder