Are bipolars more lonely?

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Carenpolar
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Date Joined Mar 2007
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   Posted 4/30/2010 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Are bipolars more lonely than others.?

Bundle
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Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 4/30/2010 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   
ok, my first day and I'm talking to everyone!
My therapist and I were just talking about this yesterday. I still haven't worked it all out, but for me it is hard to make friends because I'm afraid I will form a friendship and then possibly go into a depression (which I do the most) and scare the person off. Or say something unkind or be misunderstood. I have big trouble trusting people too-that's probably my own thing.
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happy bill
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 4/30/2010 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes, i beleive its a nature of our condition that makes it ard for us to form deep friendships and maintain them. I have to work hard to keep in love with my wife, but when i was overseas for 5 months i honestly didnt seem to notice or care. So like i said i have to work hard every day to keep the love alive between us.

Its just who i am, not saying its bad, not saying its great, it just is.

Bill

tortoise11
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Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 4/30/2010 10:04 AM (GMT -7)   

I bet people think I am a selfish flake.  From their point of view I come and go and don't value the relationship.  Really, I am doing the best I can and saving them from my depressions.

I have 1 good friend that I've known for 10+ years.  She has seen me through my worst.

I try to open up to my SO.  It's really hard for me to talk about it because my thoughts race and I don't know what to say first, or how to explain it to a normal person.  Sometimes I send him and email or a link to a thread here.  I did that today and when he came home for lunch, he took care of my son, fixed lunch for him, played with him, and then came and sat with me and held my hand.  :love:

I have a penpal friend that might as well be my clone.  Our lives are so parallel to each other!  She completely gets it.  We both are dog trainers and both struggle to keep a business going with the moody, people-hating times.  She is not BP, but very similar.


Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


Cheryl1018
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 267
   Posted 4/30/2010 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I am super lonely at times. I have a bunch of medical issues plus the bi-polar and honestly I would rather be home with my dogs or with my mom when I can. I only have a few friends, don't really do good at making new friends even though I am super friendly. I just don't want to go any where most of the time. My friend is bi-polar and she has a ton of friends but she often feels lonely and depressed.
Complete Hysterectomy 1991 due to Endo
BP/IBD
Migraines - bad ones!! Ow.
Save a life - adopt a shelter dog!!
 


Not2L8
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 255
   Posted 4/30/2010 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I guess it really depends on how you are. How your symptoms manifest.... I suppose a lot of people pull away. I remember when I was younger I used to warn others not to fall for me. I'd just end up pushing them away and hurting them in the end. Which Is what I did with nearly all my guy friends. I rarely had girl friends. They were caddy and selfish. I was always looking for love. temporary....attention. I was great at it. But I could only do that for so long before I let them fall to the side. And the few that I've had in my life have fought to stay there. I have two best friends that are guys....probably helps that both have been in love with me at one time or another, forever it seems but Since I never slept with them It was easier to be around them. Besides they weren't really my type. I found as far as guys were concerned If I slept with them then they lost their worthiness to be close to me. (demented I know) But int he last several years I've developed some good friendships with both men and women. Couples mostly, but that family centers around either the softball team I play for or the park at which my daughter plays. You just have to have an instinct on who to trust and who you can't. I rarely give anyone anything they could hurt me with. But that also means I keep a lot to myself. I've opened up a little more to some of my friends in the last year but It's still a work in progress. I'm the type of person that reguardless of what someone tells me, IF things were to go bad between us, I'd never betray what they've confided in me as ammunition. I think it's cruel.....so I look for others like that. Who ever you are.... This may sound weird but you are loved. even by people you've never met. Take care.....
Bipolar Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
PTSD


tortoise11
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Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 4/30/2010 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
[quote]This may sound weird but you are loved. even by people you've never met.[/quote]
 
Absolutely!  And back at you Not2L8!  I get seriously attached to y'all and worry when I don't see you.  For instance, where is Christine?  Does anyone know if she is OK?
Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


horse crazy
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 4/30/2010 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I find it hard to keep friends because of my moodiness. I tend to be "on again=off again" in my relationships, so yes, I tend to be lonely. Even within my family I can be very lonely when I am depressed, because everyone is scurrying around doing their own things and I feel left behind. Can make me very sad at times. I do try to connect with people and sometimes it works,,,at leasr for a short time. I tend to turn to my horse for companionship and "someone" I can talk to.
Horse Crazy
Bi-polarII; rapid cycler; Lithium 900 mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg
 


happy bill
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 4/30/2010 11:19 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  You know, i've been thinking about this all day (in the back of my mind) I just dont need people for a lot of things. I am around people all day at both works, but i just dont connect to them like i do with my dog. I am friendly, heck were do you think the name Happy Bill comes from. It's just allways felt like there was something "wrong" with me that people can sense and there fore stay away.

  This has always been a problem with girlfriends, even with all my affairs they were very "different" people who i ended up with. For what ever reason they were able to see something in me that most "normal" people cant.

   But at the end of the day we are all eventually alone, so i figure i have a better head start than most. LOL LOL LOL   Honestly i do feel that i will have a dog the rest of my life, that companionship is something that is constant and honest. Puppy has no motives other than food and love. If a dog likes you he likes you, period. People are more difficult and often filled with preconceptions and opinions.

  Well back to work.

  Bill 


only-me
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 5/2/2010 1:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I have read everyones comments and they all seem like a part of me.  I find it hard to make friends.   One minute I am sending messages hanging out for people to ring me, and the next I just want to be alone.  I don't want to hurt the people around me so I keep them at a distance.  I think it is also hard when you have to edit what you say and feel because you know that they just don't understand if you tell them the truth, or just say what comes out of your mouth.

Kiraz
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/3/2010 1:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm really upfront with new people that I'm bipolar and have my issues. That being said, I tend to isolate and don;t make new friends easily. I have a few close friends, mostly people who understand that I'm not always a social butterfly, otherwise, lately I;ve been reaquanting myself with old friends from my late teen/early 20s.

they all knew back then that I had issues, and alot of them have said to me that I'm more stable now, but they knew I had problems back then.

Even in my younger years I knew alot of people, but didn't have many close friends. Or at least, would make close friends, but not keep them.

I think for me, it's harder to make real friends, but once I do, they tend to be deeper, more beneficial relationships then other people.
Diagnosed Bipolar 1995
Successfully Treated now in 2009.
Abilify 2.5mg 1xpm, Seroquel XR 50-100mg PM. Topamax 75mg 2x daily


AK93
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 5/4/2010 8:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Aww its sort of reassuring to read that some of you have problems connecting to people like I do...I've also always felt there's something 'wrong with me' that stops me from being able to make friends like a normal person. I've never had a best friend, or even very close friends. Somehow I just can't have relationships, it never happens :/ I suppose I push people away. Its not so bad when I'm manic, then I'm outgoing as hell (although I do awful awful things that make people hate me sometimes :|), but when I'm depressed I barely ever speak. I just shut myself away.

Bundle
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 5/4/2010 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been reading all these threads about friends. I'm new to this site, and I can relate to all your comments. My dad and then my husband (ex now) were both in the military, so I have moved alot. Like over 30 times in 45 years, or something like that. So adding that into my BP and I am ridiculous and trying to make and keep friends. Every once in a while (probably sorta manic) I feel like I just have to move. I've been where I live now for a little over 6 years, and in the same house for 5. First time in my life. Worked at the same job for 6 years too. Also a record. But no friend I feel like I can call and just go to the movies with or have coffee with or whatever. My therapist finally got me to go to church a few years ago, and I've been going for over 3 years now, and same thing there. It's a really great and friendly church too. And what do I do every Sunday? Come in a little late, find a seat where I can sit by myself and practically run out the door at the end. Sometimes even sneak out early lest someone talk to me. sheesh
Bundle

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