I bet people think I am a selfish flake. From their point of view I come and go and don't value the relationship. Really, I am doing the best I can and saving them from my depressions.
I have 1 good friend that I've known for 10+ years. She has seen me through my worst.
I try to open up to my SO. It's really hard for me to talk about it because my thoughts race and I don't know what to say first, or how to explain it to a normal person. Sometimes I send him and email or a link to a thread here. I did that today and when he came home for lunch, he took care of my son, fixed lunch for him, played with him, and then came and sat with me and held my hand. :love:
I have a penpal friend that might as well be my clone. Our lives are so parallel to each other! She completely gets it. We both are dog trainers and both struggle to keep a business going with the moody, people-hating times. She is not BP, but very similar.
You know, i've been thinking about this all day (in the back of my mind) I just dont need people for a lot of things. I am around people all day at both works, but i just dont connect to them like i do with my dog. I am friendly, heck were do you think the name Happy Bill comes from. It's just allways felt like there was something "wrong" with me that people can sense and there fore stay away.
This has always been a problem with girlfriends, even with all my affairs they were very "different" people who i ended up with. For what ever reason they were able to see something in me that most "normal" people cant.
But at the end of the day we are all eventually alone, so i figure i have a better head start than most. LOL LOL LOL Honestly i do feel that i will have a dog the rest of my life, that companionship is something that is constant and honest. Puppy has no motives other than food and love. If a dog likes you he likes you, period. People are more difficult and often filled with preconceptions and opinions.
Well back to work.