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tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 5/2/2010 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm worried that I might be starting to cycle again.  I've been CRAZY creative.  I desgined a pretty shirt pattern and sewed 2 shirts.  I've been creating a market for my rabbit products.  I have been drawing and painting.  I've been neglecting housework.  My sleep schedule is getting all messed up.  I'm having a hard time remembering meds (haven't missed any this week).  I want sex... more sex.
 
I'm afraid because in the past, the drawing/painting thing comes before a HUGE crash.  I can't deal with that now.  sad
 
 
(Can we post links?!)
 
Cute little bugger.  smilewinkgrin
Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 5/2/2010 7:39 PM (GMT -7)   

 

  Ok, take a deep breath and look at what you have posted.  

  You are being crazy creative. (Is this bad?  NO, enjoy it)

  You have been neglecting housework. (Honestly no one is going to remember you for how clean your house was. really it will be for other, better things than that. So is this bad, Not really) Messy, but not the end of the world. smilewinkgrin   smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin

  I have a hard time remembering meds. (Yep,  that is bad, you need to FOCUS on that. )

  I want sex, more sex. (Sure, what time should we all come by. tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue )  Really as long as you arnt out cheating on your hubby than its not an issue. I'm not being to graphic here but if your hubby cant help you help yourself, god knows its whats helped me when i get those cravings. Plus its the ultimate in safe sex. smhair smhair smhair smhair

  Ok, so only one of the above things do you need to worry about, your meds. The rest is just you being you. Your mind is special, creative, interesting, and so much more. So there will be a crash, plan for it, make arrangements, get extra sleep, adjust your lifestyle to ride out this wave. This is my life every week, i just have decided to just hang on and enjoy the ride.

   Hope this helps

   Bill


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 5/2/2010 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   

ummmm..... WOW.  shocked

I think I broke a record for my fastest mood swing ever.  hypomanic to irritable to manic to depressed, panic and back to normal all in less than an hour.  Just a few months ago it took 5 hours.  I get scared.  My swings have been getting consistently shorter over the last 10 years.  From 1 year down to a couple hours.  If htis continues, what is it going to look like in another 10 years?  Will it be so brief it barely affects me?  Or so overwhelming I can't do anything?  Scary!

Whenever I get creative, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I know it is coming fast...  skull

Anyhow, I'm temporarily OK now and I'm going to SLEEP tonight instead of hanging around here.  :)  Hold it together without me.  lol  smilewinkgrin


Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 5/2/2010 8:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know if you can keep your link on here because you are selling it. But it is beautiful. I love what you did with the eyes. I am an artist too. Acrylics. But have always loved water colors. Gorgous...

Hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


horse crazy
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 5/2/2010 10:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey...I love your drawing of the bunny.  You really have talent; HOWEVER, my girl, you are manic and flying high.  The sex, sex, sex convinced me (-;  Whateveer,,,get hold of your doc ASAP.  The higher you go, the harder you fall.  Cripe..I almost got manic reading your post.
Horse Crazy
Bi-polarII; rapid cycler; Lithium 900 mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg
 


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 5/3/2010 5:12 AM (GMT -7)   

lol horse crazy.  :-)    I didn't slept lightly (not usual for me) which is a bit of a warning sign.  But I'm OK this morning (so far).  I'm going to stay away from creative things, take my meds.  Taking care of my rabbits, tending the garden, training my dogs and cleaning the house are thing that I haven't been "into" lately - but they are things I do enjoy and that help me feel balanced.  Plus cleaning with help with what I perceive as relationship stress.

My SO and I haven't ever discussed roles or anything.  I guess we have a silent agreement.  Fine until I go a little nuts.  :S  He works 8-5 M-F, is oncall about 1/3 of the time.  I don't work at a "real" job.  I earn enough for my car payment and most of my rabbits' expenses... and that's about all.  He covers the rest.  (except for the last 2 weeks) I keep the house clean, take care of my son, take care of the dogs, have lunch on the table at 12:10, and dinner done around 5:30.  When I don't live up to MY expectations for housework, I get really stressed out.

If I'm not 100% by next weekend somebody kick my butt and send me to the pdoc.  I do know I'm not quite ready for my son to come home.  He is on vacation with Grandma.  I think once I feel OK about housework, I'll be ready to have him here.


Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 5/3/2010 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   

I'm doing better.  I felt really "off."  It took a while to realize it was anxiety, not a BP thing.  Well, anxiety about the BP thing.  (If meds only worked for 2 motnhs, how soon until they don't work at all?  etc, etc)

I know cleaning will eventually make me feel better.  Otherwise I would sit on the couch on my computer and eventually end up depressed and lonely.  and stressed out.

I started a list of things to do, but I kept it short and broke up big jobs into little parts.  Do something off the list, then sit at the computer for 15 minutes, go do something else...

I was making the bed when I realized I had a Diet Coke yesterday for lunch.  Caffiene is SOO bad for me!  skull   I'm not unstable, I'm caffienated!  The anxiety is gone and I'm feeling stable again.

SP usually helps me avoid caffiene.  But we were ordering and he said "Do you want a soda?"  Of course I said YES!  lol  nono   On our way out, after we ate, he asked "Was there caffiene in that?"  YES!  lol nono

I wish there was a caffiene-free Diet Coke.  I love that stuff a bit too much.  rolleyes

Whew!  THANK YOU for your support!  (((hug)))


Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


Not2L8
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 255
   Posted 5/3/2010 7:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry that you may be headed for a crash. Would it be wrong of me to admit that I wish my mania would return. I envy you although I know I shouldn't. I'm in the middle of my own personal hell and trying my darnedest to fight my way back to some kind of normal. I'm in the deepest depression that I've ever been in as an adult. It's scary..... On the plus side I just went up to 100m today on the lamictal. I'm praying it makes a difference. I don't know if I can handle another medication change. forgive me please that this response may not be what affirmation you needed. But I do care, and hope that you find balance.
"Consult not your fears, but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed at, but with what is still possible for you to do." You are special and loved!!!!!

Bipolar Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
PTSD

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