I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time.
I can relate to researching and reading about this illness etc. It always makes me feel better somehow....I think because whoever wrote what I am reading "gets it".
Anyway, try to do some relaxing things for yourself; do some breathing if you can, and try to imagine this state lifting soon...try to think positive.
Keep us posted.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 6 mg/day, Lexapro 10 mg/day & Lamictal 400 mg/day.