Hope today is a better day. If you ever need to know where the good walkign trails are to go get some peace, let me know. I go to them often and it allways helps clean my soul
I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time.
I can relate to researching and reading about this illness etc. It always makes me feel better somehow....I think because whoever wrote what I am reading "gets it".
Anyway, try to do some relaxing things for yourself; do some breathing if you can, and try to imagine this state lifting soon...try to think positive.
Keep us posted.