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Kiraz
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/3/2010 1:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Been pouring over the net today looking up all kinds of topics from bipolar to borderline personalities, everything that vaguely pertains to me. I do this whenever I'm having one of these days where I'm motivated, feeling down about being so messed up, and on the brink of tears.

I don;t know why, but researching and trying to come up with answers always seems to make me feel like I'm doing something. Of course, I'm not a doctor, so it doesn;t really do any good and I usually forget to write down my questions and theoretical diagnosis to talk to my pdoc about.

Today have been having the worst heartburn, on the verge of tears, obsessed with my anxiety and agoraphobia, dreading having to go out for bloodwork tomorrow morning, and then after allready feeling so bad my husband and his girlfriend started fighting over something totally stupid. (we have an open marriage).

I just want to get up and get out for the night so they can work out their issues, but I have nowhere to go tonight, and the thought of just getting in the car and driving is not sitting well with me today at all! Here come the tears again. I'm just not used to this, it's been so long since I've had a day like this it scares me.
Diagnosed Bipolar 1995
Successfully Treated now in 2009.
Abilify 2.5mg 1xpm, Seroquel XR 50-100mg PM. Topamax 75mg 2x daily


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 5/4/2010 8:35 AM (GMT -7)   

 

  Hope today is a better day. If you ever need to know where the good walkign trails are to go get some peace, let me know. I go to them often and it allways helps clean my soul

 

  Bill


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 5/4/2010 8:50 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Kiraz,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time.

I can relate to researching and reading about this illness etc. It always makes me feel better somehow....I think because whoever wrote what I am reading "gets it".

Anyway, try to do some relaxing things for yourself; do some breathing if you can, and try to imagine this state lifting soon...try to think positive.

Keep us posted.

Mogs


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 6 mg/day, Lexapro 10 mg/day  & Lamictal 400 mg/day.


Kiraz
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/4/2010 10:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I spent the night crying into my husbands arms. Thank goodness he's so patient and understanding. He held me and encouraged me to just cry if thats what I needed to do. I don't know where I would be without him.

When my sleep meds finally kicked in, I got a good night of sleep, and am feeling a bit better today, but still feeling pretty down about my whole plight. I'm just so sick of being sick. Still, have to get the dogs to the vet today, and we're planning a delicious dinner for tonight, potatoe salad and pulled pork with a movie, so that's something to look forward to.
Diagnosed Bipolar 1995
Successfully Treated now in 2009.
Abilify 2.5mg 1xpm, Seroquel XR 50-100mg PM. Topamax 75mg 2x daily

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