I'm in my right mind this morning. SO and I talked a bit last night. I am right in interpreting that he is unhappy with the ways things have been in the last 6 weeks. He said, "I don't know how much I can take." That was hard to hear. :( I'm going to see if I can get in with the psych nurse practitioner today.
I have to get going - post more later.
I start a higher dose of Lamictal today. I'm nervous with my relationship being on the rocks. But motivated to do better.
I just don't know how. Really. If it happens again...
What would you do? Bill? Help me out here. I mean - I'm suddenly over it and all. But I intellectually know that he isn't going to be just over it.
And how do you repair a relationship? How to build trust? And how do I make sure that this isn't a temporary thing?
I've noticed a little bit of change that makes me smile. In the last day or so, we've both felt more free to say "It bothers me when you...." (leave damp towels on the floor, leave dishes in the sink... that sort of thing.) All in good humor. I try to remember what he has said so I don't do them too often.
I don't expect big talks about "feelings" like I think my SO is afraid that I want. I just need more open communication - a way to air out problems before they grow!
I think he might be "over it" faster than me. He has been in the mood for sex and I have not. I guess I'm dwelling on the past a little too much, but to think that we were both thinking our relationship was getting onto thin ice scares me.
I guess it is low-level annoyances. It was humorous because we each had about the same number. And the way we were explaining each one to each other. It wasn't like we were just sitting there complaining to each other. We were cleaning the kitchen and pointing out the things as we saw them.
I'm guilty of tossing damp towels down the laundry chute, or forgetting them on the floor. He's guilty of leaving the wet shower curtain pushed to the side so it can't dry out. He leaves the dishes in the sink, but I procrastinate about washing the dishes. I leave the freezer door open too long when I'm poking around trying to plan meals... but in less than 10 minutes after that he grabbed something out of the fridge and didn't quite close the door all the way so it was slowly opening. :lol:
Little stuff we can laugh about and try to remember to do it differently. Funny to see the different little things that we care about.
One of things that is stopping me right now is I get tired really easy. Just from living on the couch for a couple weeks and not being active. It's hard to get back to normal. So I am active for a little while and then sit down for a break and check in here. :)