Confused - used to be more up than down, but not any more? :C

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 5/8/2010 2:12 PM (GMT -6)   
So I've been bipolar since I was very young, I know that for sure. And I've ALWAYS been so much more up than down - then about 3 years ago my mania got very severe and for a few years I was totally out of control, with only a few short depressive episodes in that time. Following that I crashed into the worst depression I've ever had. Since then its all been sort of reversed - my depression is totally out of control and I have very short hypomanic episodes. Whats happened? :C  Is it just a part of the cycle, will I ever go back to how I was? I know its bad, but I miss how I was. I know I did completely awful, hurtful, dangerous things when I was manic but its still so much better than this! I used to feel so alive. Now I spend 90% of my time crying - then I have a teeny tiny hypomanic episode and I FINALLY feel happy - then its gone as soon as it came,  and theres nothing I can do. :C I feel...trapped.
Has this ever happened to any of you?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 5/8/2010 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I've never had much mania, short hypomanias and deep depressions.  Dr.'s say that is typical of rapid-cycling BPII.  Have you mentioned it to your pdoc?  They would probably change your meds around for it.

Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 5/8/2010 2:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Ah I'm not on meds..yet. Things are very confusing right now. :S I had a lot of problems with my last psych because she just would not listen to a word I said (sure she hated me :@), and I've only just changed to a new one. AND it seems that on the NHS, trying to get meds out of a psych when your under 18 is next to impossible. They're intent on trying to help me with therapy, and it doesn't do a bloody thing! D:

Thing is I THOUGHT I had BP II as I'd assumed my mania had never been severe enough to class as that, but apparently it definitely is. And now that I think about it, it definitely was very bad in the past - though not recently, like I said. :/
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