I am very
how i came to be here. Basicly BP snuck up on me over the years, i didnt listen to my wife telling me that something was wrong, i thought she was just blaming me to deflect blame from her self. ANyway i was having affairs left and right, and up and down,
I laugh about
it now, but it is two years removed from the "bad time" Anyway my wife hit the roof, and me in a manic state (not caring if i lived or died) was blaming her for the affairs, (After all it was her fault that i was cheating, she wasnt doing her job at home, crazy how we think when we are manic) So in a fit of rage that i caused in her she stabbed me 5 times with a corkscrew in the neck and face. That night i had a moment of clarity, call it god, goddess, budda, allah, whoever, they heled me see where the true blame belonged in my relationship.
The next day i managed to get an emergecy appoitment with a Pdoc and that with Talk therpay and the right medication (respridal) i am a new man. I still get hypomanic, and live my life on the edge of control. But when i feel the old urges taking hold and i want to cheat i take an extra dose of my meds and it gets me thru.
All in all i am thrilled to the man i am today, yes i am crazy, but you know what i really wouldnt have it any other way. Its a burden that i carry and will carry the rest of my life, but i look for the good, and some of that is a feeling of love normal people cant understand, sex is out of this world, a feeling of peace that has been with me the last 6 months. I am exactly as god created me, who am i to argue with the big guys plan.
Besides at the end of the day it wasnt my fault, i didnt take a drug, or bump my head and wake up bipolar. It is on me to take my meds and continue to be the best husband i can be.
Hope this helps Bill